The email is below
Hi Rebecca
I thought I would send you an email, as I know that you feel very upset today with the news that our medical doctor has not recommended you as fit to adopt, as your BMI does not satisfy the criteria of 35 or less. I thought by sending an email you can read with your husband, so that you both have a clear understanding of the issues, and then call me when you are ready if you have further questions. I will still send you the official letter notifying of the medical outcome within the next week.
I have searched your records and spoken to relevant staff to try to clarify why you were not sent a letter last year when you submitted your medical in May 2010, as I did not work here at that time so have no prior knowledge of your application. My inquiries have revealed that it appears your medical was not sent to our doctor. I have been told that this was at a time when the officer who processed left, and there was a gap in replacement for a few weeks. That seems to be why you were not sent a letter. I apologise on behalf of our unit, as appears was an oversight at that time.
However, you should know that because your BMI was over 35 at that time as well, as recorded on the medical report you sent in from your own doctor, that the same outcome would have occurred as now when your medical has been resubmitted - as your BMI is still over 35. I know that this does not make it right that your medical was not sent, however the outcome would have been the same, that of notification that your BMI is over 35 and not approved as fit to adopt. Also your husband's medical issues were also occurring and have only just been resolved, with his approval as fit to adopt, so you would have had to submit a new medical as you have as are re-done every year during the application process.
Staff have also informed me that at the Information seminars applicants are told about the BMI requirements, and are asked to speak to staff for further information if they think that this may be an issue that will impact their assessment. I cannot speculate on why you have not understood this medical requirement to adopt.
Please do not hesitate to contact me to discuss further, and again I am sorry if you have not considered the BMI requirements before now.
Kind regards
Hang on, you guys stuffed up. You admit you never sent through the medical report, which I paid money for, followed the correct process, and you did nothing with. You didn't advise me then, at the proper time, that there was an issue. So this whole year, we have believed that my medical was accepted as 'fit to adopt'. If we were told then, it would still have been frustrating, but I could have done something about it! Instead, due to their stuff-up, we have wasted a whole year of our time and money on this, not to mention the stress of Murray's application issues.
But what do you say to me? That I have not considered the BMI requirements before now!!!
Are you kidding!!! This is the first time it has been mentioned!!! How can I have 'considered' the requirement if I didn't know it existed until yesterday!
Furious.
it's a form of discrimination and i believe you would have grounds to appeal the decision - if you could afford it [which i know you may not be able to] it would be interesting to see what a legal mind would say about it, eg if you'd have a case for discrimination.
ReplyDeletehave you thought about contacting media? i think talkback radio would jump on something like this - 6pr etc do stories like this all the time.
~x~
This is the most outrageous thing I have ever heard. My husband & I just got done with our homestudy to adopt, and it was insane to get this far. i have never heard of this bmi issue with our agency in wi, i would find a new agency, if they treat people like this, you better believe that this b.s is thier standard procedure w/everything. Many blessings your way, becki from wisconsin @izzycruiser
ReplyDeleteHi Bec
ReplyDeleteTake a step back, and take a deep breath. I know you're really upset about this, but that isn't going to help anything.
Having never gone through this process, I can't help much. What I will say, though, is that things happen. Things do fall through the cracks when people leave a workplace. I had to pick up the pieces about a bit over a year ago when someone left my workplace unexpectedly - and I'm still cleaning up the messes she made... when they come to light. It's really frustrating. Try to put yourself in the author's position.
Also, I presume she's an employee of DCP? And the process is through them? I'd expect them to be using some form of risk assessment process - something they can quantify as meeting the requirements. As much as it does suck - I'd think they'd have to make their assessments in such a way as could stand up. Yes, someone with a lower BMI could walk in front of a car tomorrow, or have a heart attack. Problem is that medically speaking, you're -more likely- to have health problems in the intervening years, in addition to the same problems as the person with the lower BMI might encounter.
It sucks, yes. Don't blame the messenger though. She just got the responsibility for telling you the bad news - and I'm sure she didn't enjoy it either.
Just because someone has a high BMI actually doesn't mean that they are more likely to have health problems in the intervening years - I remember an article from last year that stated the BMI of atheletes the world over - a lot of them had very high BMI's and these were healthy fit people
ReplyDeleteBMI is very misleading. Even being fat doesn't mean you will necessarily have health problems down the track - there are fat people who are healthier than their thinner counterparts.
It's a crock of shit that they won't recommend someone based on their weight.
I can only imagine your intense feeling of frustration, thinking that the adoption was moving ahead and then to discover over a year later that in fact you are not/were not going to be at that time approved is HARD, infertility always feels like a race against time and loosing a whole year must feel heartbrearkingly difficult.
ReplyDeleteAdoption is hard, the standard that potential parents have to reach far exceed those that are met by parents who can have sex to have a baby, and I imagine it leads you to feel so very angry and frustrated. It sucks.
BMI may not have anything to do with your health, but the future health of adopted children, I say this as in Canada/US they are talking about removing children from parents who's children are morbidly obese, there are pediatricians pushing it as they say raising your children to be obese is more hurtful to their overall health than other abuse (I don't agree with it, but, that's what they are talking about over here).
The solution isn't something that you really want to hear, but, you are in control of this one thing, getting your BMI down is something you CAN DO, but it's a choice, a hard choice, a total lifestyle overhaul.
You can do it, you have already done so much to become a mother, this is just one more thing, and it's something that you wont regret, feeling healthy for the rest of your life.
Much hugs
duck
That is just complete incompetence. How the hell can they let an oversight like that happen??? I'm sure that if your BMI was an issue a year ago they would have happily pointed it out to you - I've noticed in the email that the phrase "BMI over 35" was used quite liberally.
ReplyDeleteAs mentioned by another commenter, BMI is just a guideline and it isn't an overall reflection of your physical health. Someone with a high muscle:fat ratio could be described as having a high BMI, it is not a hard and fast measure to determine a person's health status!
Oh Bec, I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. That is ridiculous. I mean, I could understand them not wanting to place a child with a person who is morbidly obese and cannot physically move to tend to a child, but that is not the case with you! It seems like your doctor should have more say about your medical fitness than just using an arbitrary number cutoff for BMI. And like you said, you have participated in triathlons and are very physically active. It is discrimination, plain and simple. I hope that you can find some way to fight this.Hugs.
ReplyDeleteObesity is one of the biggest contributing factors that lead to development of a range of lifestyle diseases. It does affect people's health, this is not a myth it's proven with abundant research. It reduces your lifespan and your quality of life. Losing weight is hard, being healthy is hard but parenting is even harder. Maybe this is a challenge you need to meet before you have a child.
ReplyDeleteSo do we take away children from every obese mother in Australia because they might not live quite as long as a fully healthy mother? While we are at it we will take away the children whose parents have hereditary diseases. Let's not forget all the mums who smoke and drink alcohol. And don't get me started on the crack whores! Posts like the one above basically promote the discrimination of Adoptive Services WA. Any one who posts on here who is not supportive of Bec can go practice safe sex and go f#ck themselves!
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