It's been a rough couple of days. I have been very excited about our trip away but the black dog has reared its head, making the last few days quite unbearable. For the last two weeks I have had a range of illnesses, from the flu, to gastro, to a cold. I woke up at 4am Saturday morning vomiting which wasn't pretty. I don't know where all the illness has come from, but I know that it has a terrible affect on my mental state.
Whenever I get ill, I get depressed. I recognise that it is depression and that it is linked to feeling sick and that I will get over it soon but when you are in that moment, it is so hard to get yourself through. Yesterday I was getting really agitated and depressed, I basically slept on the couch from 3pm until midnight because sleeping is the one relief that I get from the constant anxious and agitated feelings.
I do feel a lot better today, still a little anxious, but on the whole so much better than I was yesterday. It's amazing how much of a link there is between my physical and mental condition.
When I get back from my holiday, it is time for me to get back into shape - start eating healthily and heading back to the gym. I have a fair idea that part of my illness at least has been caused by not looking after myself and bingeing on whatever food I want to eat. I am also considering going back up 20mg on my anti-depressants, just to get myself through this winter patch.
Anyway, I am starting to pack for my holiday, the fogginess in my head is clearing so I am going to enjoy my husband and puppy, watch some footy on tv and look forward to my holiday away.
