Crazy lady ramblings...: And zero equals none

Monday 22 August 2011

And zero equals none

None of the embryos made it. We are heartbroken. I don't even know where to begin.
Another door has closed.

13 comments:

BMonday, 22 August, 2011
Heartbroken & devastated for you and Murray. This is so unfair and wrong, you have both fought so hard! There HAS to be a way for you two to become parents. I wish there was SOMETHING that I could do, my own hopes of being a mother are gone and it feels like a double blow now. You deserve so much more than the crap you have been dealt.
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JellyBellyMonday, 22 August, 2011
I have no words Bec. I wish I could be there in person to give you a great, big hug.
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AnonymousMonday, 22 August, 2011
I'm here for you darling girl. Anything at all. I am so sorry xxx
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~stinkb0mb~Monday, 22 August, 2011
no words Bec, just love & hugs and understanding of exactly where you are at.

~x~
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AnonymousMonday, 22 August, 2011
I am so sorry, no words can express.

anjcoakley.blogspot.com
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And so it goesMonday, 22 August, 2011
My heart is hurting so much for you. This isn't the way it is supposed to go....
Sending hugs, as futile as that sounds.
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themrsTuesday, 23 August, 2011
I can't imagine...Wish there was something we could do...
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CeliaTuesday, 23 August, 2011
I am so sorry.
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AnnieTuesday, 23 August, 2011
Ahh there's so much sadness here for you, Bec.. we all wish there were a better outcome. I hope you can take solace in this group of people who care so much about you (even though some of us are strangers to you). This situation calls for a big block of chocolate and a few duvet days... I hope you both take your time to heal and grieve. I'm so sorry. xxx
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GeohdeTuesday, 23 August, 2011
I know it probably doesn't change the sadness one whit, but from a random person inside your computer, I am sorry.

g
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AnonymousWednesday, 24 August, 2011
I can't believe it :(

Imogen xo
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AnonymousFriday, 26 August, 2011
I am so sorry Bec. It is beyond unfair and I wish I knew how to change things for you :(

I will be thinking of you and I hope the way forward makes itself clear to you guys very soon.

Siobhan xxx
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AnonymousWednesday, 31 August, 2011
Hi Bec, stumbled across you as I googling IVM. I just got another BFN today after my second cyle of IVM. Seems you have had an even more heartbreaking journey than me but know that I share some of your pain.

V X
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Our Journey

August 2016 - Our little man J comes home to us!!!

July 2016 - Get the phone call that we have been chosen to parent a 12 month old boy through local adoption!

May 2016 - IVF #10 was a bust

February 2016 - Public Health department decide that we can have another funded cycle of IVF. Gearing up to #IVF 10

November 2015 - One last attempt at IVF thanks to the public IVF program - IVF #9, 2 X Day 3 embryos transferred. Negative

November 2015 - 2 years in the approved applicant local adoption pool.

August 2014 - Donated embryos become available - FET #7 Negative

October 2013- Approved for local adoption! Getting our profile together and join the pool of approved prospective adoptive parents.

September 2013- 12 months out from Gastric sleeve surgery - 55kg lost! Now at a healthy BMI

January 2013- Re-apply for local adoption in Western Australia

September 2012- Gastric sleeve surgery to help get to a healthy weight

August 2012- Investigated foster care as a family building option but decided it's not for us.

June 2012 - FET #6 using donated embryos. Thought we hit the jackpot with a + on HPT but chemical pregnancy only.

May 2012 -FET#5 using donated embryos. BFN.

November 2011 - IUI #2. Another shot? Donor IUI. Still negative.

October 2011 - IUI #1. Let's try something different. Donor IUI, Negative result

August 2011 - IVF #8. Although estrogen levels are all over the place, we make to egg collection. 8 eggs fertilise through ICSI, but they never divide and all succumb. No transfer.

July 2011 - Adoption Services advise that we will not be approved for adoption due to my weight being over BMI limit of 35. Adoption plans devastated.

June 2011 - IVF #7 starts with known sperm donor. Cancelled again, just before egg collection as hormone levels indicate OHSS is likely.

February 2011 - Ovarian Drilling, laparoscopy and dye test done. Now preparing for IVF in June

January 2011 - Offer from a potential known sperm donor. Start counselling and mandated waiting period to access known donor sperm

September 2010 - IVF #6 - Another cancelled cycle due to estrogen decreasing and follicles not growing enough

June 2010 - #IVF 5 - Cancelled just before egg collection as hormone levels indicate OHSS is likely.

April 2010 - Donor sperm is available! Now waiting for next cycle to begin our DIVF cycle

March 2010 - Slowly putting together our adoption assessment application

January 2010 - Change IVF clinics to Concept Fertility to access donor sperm. Meet new FS, have donor counselling, and are added to the donor sperm waiting list. Attend final adoption education seminars

October 2009 - IVF #4 - Retrieve 20 eggs, 12 mature, 5 fertilised. Two Day 3 embryos transferred. BFN

September 2009 - Attend more adoption education seminars. SCSA test shows 35% DNA fragmentation in sperm - We decide to have one more attempt at IVF before moving to donor

August 2009 - Retrieve 33 eggs, 13 make it to day 3 - none to day 5. End up in hospital, in pain from the procedure and heavily sedated. Is this it for us?

July 2009 - Cycling again IVF #3. Attend first adoption seminar

May 2009 - And everything came tumbling down. Only a 6 weeks sac with no heartbeat at 8 week scan. D&C performed.

April 2009 - FET #4 BFP!!! Due 1 January 2010

November 2008 - FET #3 One blastocyst transferred - BFP, Beta of 21, then 44. Pregnancy not viable.

October 2008 - FET #2 Take Two - One blastocyst transferred - BFN

September 2008 - FET #2 - Cancelled by us. Diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety, put on AD's and hoping to ride out the storm.

August 2008 - FET #1 - One blastocyst transferred - BFN

May 2008 - IVF #2 - 20 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilised. Severe OHSS puts me in hospital for three days so no transfer. Four blastocysts are frozen for future use.

March 2008 - IVM #2 - 10 eggs retrieved, 8 matured, 7 fertilised, but no embryos make it to blastocyst and transfer is cancelled.

January 2008 - FS talks to us about new treatment called In Vitro Maturation (IVM) and we say go for it! IVM #1 - 13 eggs retrieved, 8 matured, 7 fertilised, 1 perfect blastocyst transferred - BFN

September 2007 - IVF #1, understimulated, cancelled cycle

August 2007 - Second appointment with FS, this time 12 kilos lighter - Woohoo! Decide to begin IVF next cycle

May 2007 - First meeting with FS. Told too fat for treatment and to get down to a BMI of 35 first (BMI currently 40.1). Utter devastation and depression follows, but I join the gym and dedicate myself to the cause.

February 2007 - Hubby's sperm analysis comes back with very low semen motility

January 2007 - Cycles are all over the place. Initial scans and tests suggest PCOS.

July 2006 - Had implanon removed, officially trying for a baby (How exciting!)

November 2005 - Got married on a hot spring day