Thank you to those who left comments on my last post. I guess I was trying to make myself believe that I could still be okay if I miscarried, but deep in my heart I know that it wont be. I keep trying to think positive, and everyone has been just wonderful with stories of low betas that turned into successful pregnancies, but when it's you going through it, it is just so scary. I don't want to lose this baby.
I have just come home from work early under the pretense of a headache, when I was actually getting quite panicked and anxious. I've only had a couple of anxiety attacks in my life, but the feeling of dread and agitation is so awful, I couldn't deal with being around other people. I came straight home and am now starting to feel a bit better.
The next beta is tomorrow. I don't know what to expect. I keep trying to prepare myself, to hope for the best and prepare for the worst. I'm swinging back every moment between euphoria and angst.
God, please let it be in your plans for us to have this child.
Bec - the feeling of being panicky does not go away, even when they arrive you still panic over every little thing :) Just remember how much you want this and keep away from google! Looking forward to your next update.
ReplyDeletePraying we hear great news from you tomorrow xo
ReplyDeletei'm sending you prayers bec!
ReplyDeletemake yourself a cup of tea, it always helps me when i feel an anxiety attack coming on.
I can't stop thinking, hoping and wishing for you! Have a nice day today and take care of yourself. Lots of deep breaths and maybe a bath? Sending you tons of hugs!
ReplyDeleteJust read your update in our forum Bec and I am so so so pleased for you!! You and I have shared a painful journey for so long, it really is wonderful to see a happy ending for you. I look forward to following your journey. Wishing lots of stickiness for your baby xoxo
ReplyDelete