D&C

I spent most of today in hospital. We decided that we would go ahead with a d&c so that they could test the 'products of conception' to find out what went wrong. Once we made that decision, I just wanted to get it done as soon as possible, which is how I found myself at admissions at 9am this morning.

Mike, my obs, was lovely, so caring and compassionate. He came and saw me before the procedure for 5 minutes to talk about how I was feeling and what would happen. My Mum came along with me for the day as Murray couldn't really afford to take any more time off of work. Unfortunately the overflow of the day surgery patients are put in the same ward as the maternity patients, so I got to listen to babies crying while I got dressed, ready to have my baby taken away from me. Thank God my Mum was with me, I don't know how I would have coped otherwise. I remember waking up in recovery and just crying my eyes out.

I am still bleeding heavily, and was told to expect to bleed for a week or two. I also have to organise a follow up appointment with Mike for 4-6 weeks time. I have asked him if I am able to swap to have him as my fertility specialist as well, as he works for the same clinic as my FS, and he said that would be absolutely fine. I just need a new referral.

I feel very lost. I don't want to do IVF again. But I have to. I don't want to do anything every again. Work. Fun, Seeing people. Eating. It is all too hard. But I have to. Because that's what I do.