And here it is...
Rear main bedroom, central kitchen, separate facilities for guests off the alfresco area. My heart melts...
Of course the most important thing is what you put in the house right?
A girl can only dream...
Friday, 11 February 2011
Lusting...
I have been thinking a lot lately about what my dream home would look like. It all started when I was going through my usual Sunday morning routine - reading the new homes section of the paper. I was flicking through the different plans when one caught my eye. Often you will find a house plan that looks great in one area, but doesn't meet what you want in another area. Sacrifice the kitchen for the perfect bedroom layout? Amazing lounge room but tiny dining room? But I have found my (realistically priced) dream home.
And here it is...
A girl can only dream...
And here it is...
A girl can only dream...
Thursday, 10 February 2011
These are a few of my favourite things...
Oh and now I have that song stuck in my head. And probably in yours too. Sorry about that. Not really but anyway, moving right along.
Today I am being a lightweight. Rather than a proper update (which I swear will come soon), I am thinking about my favourite things - people, hobbies and just stuff in general that makes me happy.
My favourite bloggers
Lion Jumper
What have I stepped in?
Life of the Bees
iWrite
Miss Ruby
My favourite things
And with that, I am off to bed. Pleasant dreams all
Today I am being a lightweight. Rather than a proper update (which I swear will come soon), I am thinking about my favourite things - people, hobbies and just stuff in general that makes me happy.
My favourite bloggers
Lion Jumper
What have I stepped in?
Life of the Bees
iWrite
Miss Ruby
My favourite things
And with that, I am off to bed. Pleasant dreams all
Saturday, 22 January 2011
What's the point?
After a few comments on the blog, I sat down and tried to work through some things in my head. I was getting quite down about it all, and those negative feelings were influencing how I was thinking about the whole donor situation. So let's break it down.
Someone has come on my blog, and said that people know who I am, where I work, and who P is. What I would like to say in return is - what is your point? Is that meant to be a negative comment? Is having a donor meant to be something to be ashamed of? Or is it meant to be an attempt at intimidating me that people at work will know about our situation?
I'm not sure I see any positive out of that comment, but let's try and take it that way for a minute. Good point - people do know who I am. I have never hidden who I am on this blog, I don't use an alias, I make my email and facebook details available for people to communicate with me, I share intimate details of my life and conception journey. But I know all of this and am comfortable with it.
I was even featured in the major daily WA paper on our IVF treatment when we were lobbying against cuts in government funding for fertility treatment. Half page photo, with my name and intimate details spread for the world (or at least the city) to read. Instead of snide comments or negativity, I instead received emails of support from over a dozen people at my workplace, supporting me and telling of similar stories that they or their friends had been through. So I do have experience with my workplace knowing my story.
The only other thing I can assume you are inferring is that P will be identified through my blog. Firstly P & his wife both have the link to my blog. Secondly P's wife also has an online presence through a local message board, so is aware of how 'heart on the sleeve' the internet world can be. And thirdly, if you hadn't read the initial message, while we don't plan on shouting it from the rooftops so every employee knows our situation, we don't have an issue with people at work knowing.
I don't know who you are. I have some idea but whether it is the person I am thinking about or not, ask yourself - why are you here? Are you here to be supportive? To check on my progress? Do you wish me the best? Or are you here because this is how you get your thrills, seeing us have to make emotional decisions, watching us as we experience the pain of childlessness. If you aren't here to wish me well, I would say to you - Look at yourself and the person you are and if this is the person you want to be. I can't stop you from being here and reading my words.. But you can.
If there is another point to your comment that you would like to make - go ahead, please. I am taking this as a blessing in disguise, as it has given me the opportunity to work through some things in my head and made me stronger in my resolve to continue blogging, openly and honestly.
Through the last two days, I kept thinking - What's the point? What is the point of the anonymous comments, the baring of my soul on this blog, the pain, the fragile times, the emotions, the lot.
So what's the point?
The point is that we know our child is out there. Whether through adoption, IVF or naturally, we know that God has a plan for us to be parents. So whatever is thrown at us, it is worth it. It will all be worth it.
Someone has come on my blog, and said that people know who I am, where I work, and who P is. What I would like to say in return is - what is your point? Is that meant to be a negative comment? Is having a donor meant to be something to be ashamed of? Or is it meant to be an attempt at intimidating me that people at work will know about our situation?
I'm not sure I see any positive out of that comment, but let's try and take it that way for a minute. Good point - people do know who I am. I have never hidden who I am on this blog, I don't use an alias, I make my email and facebook details available for people to communicate with me, I share intimate details of my life and conception journey. But I know all of this and am comfortable with it.
I was even featured in the major daily WA paper on our IVF treatment when we were lobbying against cuts in government funding for fertility treatment. Half page photo, with my name and intimate details spread for the world (or at least the city) to read. Instead of snide comments or negativity, I instead received emails of support from over a dozen people at my workplace, supporting me and telling of similar stories that they or their friends had been through. So I do have experience with my workplace knowing my story.
The only other thing I can assume you are inferring is that P will be identified through my blog. Firstly P & his wife both have the link to my blog. Secondly P's wife also has an online presence through a local message board, so is aware of how 'heart on the sleeve' the internet world can be. And thirdly, if you hadn't read the initial message, while we don't plan on shouting it from the rooftops so every employee knows our situation, we don't have an issue with people at work knowing.
I don't know who you are. I have some idea but whether it is the person I am thinking about or not, ask yourself - why are you here? Are you here to be supportive? To check on my progress? Do you wish me the best? Or are you here because this is how you get your thrills, seeing us have to make emotional decisions, watching us as we experience the pain of childlessness. If you aren't here to wish me well, I would say to you - Look at yourself and the person you are and if this is the person you want to be. I can't stop you from being here and reading my words.. But you can.
If there is another point to your comment that you would like to make - go ahead, please. I am taking this as a blessing in disguise, as it has given me the opportunity to work through some things in my head and made me stronger in my resolve to continue blogging, openly and honestly.
Through the last two days, I kept thinking - What's the point? What is the point of the anonymous comments, the baring of my soul on this blog, the pain, the fragile times, the emotions, the lot.
So what's the point?
The point is that we know our child is out there. Whether through adoption, IVF or naturally, we know that God has a plan for us to be parents. So whatever is thrown at us, it is worth it. It will all be worth it.
Thursday, 20 January 2011
A meeting of the minds
We met with P & his wife today to talk about the possibility of P donating sperm to us. Murray & I were both really nervous leading up to tonight, and I was about 50/50 whether or not we would accept the offer. Once we got there though and we met his wife and little boy, it calmed us down and we were able to have a really good conversation about everything.
My main two concerns were that firstly we could still work together professionally without it interfering. We basically decided that at work things would still be normal, but if someone asked the question, or if either of us wanted to divulge at work, that we were okay with it. But as a general rule it would be our business not anyone elses.
The second thing is that they are comfortable with having an ongoing relationship with us and the child, not formalised as such, but just a general understanding that if our kids want to spend time together, or know more about backgrounds, that is okay. They were happy with that which is good. My main reason for wanting a known donor over an unknown donor, is that if you go the anonymous route, the revealing of the donor details at age 16 or 18 becomes this big event, something that is built up through a child or teenagers formative years, and then it becomes a big deal. Whereas if our child knows its biological background from the beginning (which of course it would anyway), but specifically being able to see a photo of the person or ask questions etc, then it's just part of their life story.
We talked a bit about P's family, their interests, genetic history etc. P has a very musical family apparently, he is also a bookworm and comes from quite a smart family. He is originally from South Africa. His wife and him love water sports, and often go scuba diving and snorkelling. They tried for 12 years to have their little boy, and they used a donor egg to have him along with P's sperm. He does have late-onset diabetes in his family and has eye strain, neither of which worry us.
Before their son was born, P decided to become a donor through their clinic (which also happens to be our clinic), so his sperm has already been tested, quarantined and they have been through counselling, which means the usual three and six month waiting periods aren't required for us. However we will still need to do a counselling session together as it is a different scenario to anonymous donation, and they are very happy to do that.
There is one catch to all of this. They have said that they offered for altruistic reasons initially, but they are also wanting to try again for another baby which means they need to find an egg donor. They would like us to consider that, if and when we should fall pregnant successfully and give birth, that we might like to donate some of the remaining embryos to them to try to conceive. They have said that that would only be after we had a baby, not while we are still trying.
I was a little taken aback at first, but after thinking about it, it honestly sounds like a good idea. I have always said that I wanted to donate my eggs after I completed IVF, and this lets me kill two birds with one stone, so to speak. The only real issue it raises is that if we both fall pregnant, that our children will be full-blood siblings. I probably need to speak to a specialist counsellor or find someone to talk to who has been in this situation, because while I can't see any major issues with it, there may be things that I haven't considered that could be issues there. (PS - if you know of anyone who has done this - please leave their details below - Ta!)
They made it clear that the egg donation was not a condition of them donating sperm, it was just something to consider.
We have talked it over, and we will talk some more over the coming weekend just to make sure we aren't getting swept away with everything, but so far so good.
The plan at this stage is to do set up counselling appointments over the next three weeks, do the ovarian drilling, and then do DIVF in April.
Wow - a new plan in less than a week!
My main two concerns were that firstly we could still work together professionally without it interfering. We basically decided that at work things would still be normal, but if someone asked the question, or if either of us wanted to divulge at work, that we were okay with it. But as a general rule it would be our business not anyone elses.
The second thing is that they are comfortable with having an ongoing relationship with us and the child, not formalised as such, but just a general understanding that if our kids want to spend time together, or know more about backgrounds, that is okay. They were happy with that which is good. My main reason for wanting a known donor over an unknown donor, is that if you go the anonymous route, the revealing of the donor details at age 16 or 18 becomes this big event, something that is built up through a child or teenagers formative years, and then it becomes a big deal. Whereas if our child knows its biological background from the beginning (which of course it would anyway), but specifically being able to see a photo of the person or ask questions etc, then it's just part of their life story.
We talked a bit about P's family, their interests, genetic history etc. P has a very musical family apparently, he is also a bookworm and comes from quite a smart family. He is originally from South Africa. His wife and him love water sports, and often go scuba diving and snorkelling. They tried for 12 years to have their little boy, and they used a donor egg to have him along with P's sperm. He does have late-onset diabetes in his family and has eye strain, neither of which worry us.
Before their son was born, P decided to become a donor through their clinic (which also happens to be our clinic), so his sperm has already been tested, quarantined and they have been through counselling, which means the usual three and six month waiting periods aren't required for us. However we will still need to do a counselling session together as it is a different scenario to anonymous donation, and they are very happy to do that.
There is one catch to all of this. They have said that they offered for altruistic reasons initially, but they are also wanting to try again for another baby which means they need to find an egg donor. They would like us to consider that, if and when we should fall pregnant successfully and give birth, that we might like to donate some of the remaining embryos to them to try to conceive. They have said that that would only be after we had a baby, not while we are still trying.
I was a little taken aback at first, but after thinking about it, it honestly sounds like a good idea. I have always said that I wanted to donate my eggs after I completed IVF, and this lets me kill two birds with one stone, so to speak. The only real issue it raises is that if we both fall pregnant, that our children will be full-blood siblings. I probably need to speak to a specialist counsellor or find someone to talk to who has been in this situation, because while I can't see any major issues with it, there may be things that I haven't considered that could be issues there. (PS - if you know of anyone who has done this - please leave their details below - Ta!)
They made it clear that the egg donation was not a condition of them donating sperm, it was just something to consider.
We have talked it over, and we will talk some more over the coming weekend just to make sure we aren't getting swept away with everything, but so far so good.
The plan at this stage is to do set up counselling appointments over the next three weeks, do the ovarian drilling, and then do DIVF in April.
Wow - a new plan in less than a week!
Monday, 17 January 2011
Donated Blessings
Somebody I work with (let's call him P) has just approached me an offer for him to be our donor.
I don't work directly with P, however I often have to get information from him or consult on certain issues. He is a nice guy who has always helped me out with my work where he can.
P & I were chatting before Christmas about his little boy and how it took them 10 years and many IVF attempts to have him. I mentioned our AC journey and he was quite upbeat and positive about us having a child.
He just approached me at my desk and said that, he wasn't quite sure the right way to do this, but him and his wife had spoken about it and they would like to offer to be our sperm donor so we can have a child.
I am just blown away that somebody would offer to do that for us. We had always hoped that we would find a known donor, so that our child could grow up knowing their biology and information, rather than an anonymous donor where you can't find anything out until the child is 18. This is so out of the blue but so beautiful.
Murray and I have only briefly spoken on the phone, but he is very happy to go down this path. Although we are also happy with our current donor (matched through the clinic), the clinic donor is not suitable for IUI, and as mentioned above, we only have rudimentary information on his background. It would be awesome to known who the donor is, and have a photo for our child, for themt o be able to meet if all parties are happy to, that sort of thing.
As for the logistics - P is quite tall, medium build, dark blondish hair, no idea what colour eyes! More importantly he is very genuine, intelligent (he is an engineer), and a honest to goodness nice guy.
I feel so blessed right now just to have this option. I think the first thing we would like to do is sit down with both of them and just get to know them both a bit better and make sure they are really happy to do this. But I think that this could be a go-er for us!
I don't work directly with P, however I often have to get information from him or consult on certain issues. He is a nice guy who has always helped me out with my work where he can.
P & I were chatting before Christmas about his little boy and how it took them 10 years and many IVF attempts to have him. I mentioned our AC journey and he was quite upbeat and positive about us having a child.
He just approached me at my desk and said that, he wasn't quite sure the right way to do this, but him and his wife had spoken about it and they would like to offer to be our sperm donor so we can have a child.
I am just blown away that somebody would offer to do that for us. We had always hoped that we would find a known donor, so that our child could grow up knowing their biology and information, rather than an anonymous donor where you can't find anything out until the child is 18. This is so out of the blue but so beautiful.
Murray and I have only briefly spoken on the phone, but he is very happy to go down this path. Although we are also happy with our current donor (matched through the clinic), the clinic donor is not suitable for IUI, and as mentioned above, we only have rudimentary information on his background. It would be awesome to known who the donor is, and have a photo for our child, for themt o be able to meet if all parties are happy to, that sort of thing.
As for the logistics - P is quite tall, medium build, dark blondish hair, no idea what colour eyes! More importantly he is very genuine, intelligent (he is an engineer), and a honest to goodness nice guy.
I feel so blessed right now just to have this option. I think the first thing we would like to do is sit down with both of them and just get to know them both a bit better and make sure they are really happy to do this. But I think that this could be a go-er for us!
Sunday, 9 January 2011
Delurk yourself
PS - I promise there is a new post coming, thoughts are brewing, just need to get them down on paper.
Wednesday, 29 December 2010
The last days of 2010
Somehow I have gotten sick. Not serious thank goodness, but enough to be uncomfortable and frustrated. I've had an awful sore throat for a couple of days and some headaches, body aches and dizziness. Thinking it could be a 48 hour virus. Hopefully it will be out of my system soon.
I've been off work for a week and a half so far and it has been so relaxing for us not to go away anywhere - just to stay here and relax. Christmas Day went really well, everybody seemed to have a great time. Not looking forward to going back to work on the 4th of January but that's life!
We are hoping to go along to the Peggy Gugenheim showing at the Art Museum in Perth - while we certainly aren't the artsy-types, I think it's good to get outside of your comfort zone occasionally, and the chance to see a couple of Picasso's is incredible. Can't believe we will get to go to the Louvre next year!!!
And on that note I am going to drag myself back to the lounge room, wrap myself in my blanket and get my husband to bring me some tea.
I've been off work for a week and a half so far and it has been so relaxing for us not to go away anywhere - just to stay here and relax. Christmas Day went really well, everybody seemed to have a great time. Not looking forward to going back to work on the 4th of January but that's life!
We are hoping to go along to the Peggy Gugenheim showing at the Art Museum in Perth - while we certainly aren't the artsy-types, I think it's good to get outside of your comfort zone occasionally, and the chance to see a couple of Picasso's is incredible. Can't believe we will get to go to the Louvre next year!!!
And on that note I am going to drag myself back to the lounge room, wrap myself in my blanket and get my husband to bring me some tea.
Saturday, 25 December 2010
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas everyone! We are hosting Christmas today and a smattering of family from both families will be attending. I'm looking forward to having a nice barbecue and sitting back with everything all prepared for the day. I'm not looking forward to the searing heat and humidity - it's ridiculously sticky already!
I just wanted to wish you all a lovely christmas, wherever you are in the world, however you choose to celebrate.
All our love,
Rebecca, Murray & Charlie xxx
I just wanted to wish you all a lovely christmas, wherever you are in the world, however you choose to celebrate.
All our love,
Rebecca, Murray & Charlie xxx
Monday, 20 December 2010
A plan for the year ahead
I've done a lot of thinking these last few days, and in my mind I have come to some decisions about what I want 2011 to be about. I want this year ahead to be about Murray & I enjoying our lives, while still making progress towards extending our family. Some thoughts on what I want from the new year ahead.
Children
We plan on continuing the adoption process and ideally having our application approved by October. I am under no illusions that this will be easy. We still have a hurdle to cross with Murray's medical assessment, but I know we can work through it get it sorted out. I am looking forward to the assessment process and getting to learn more about ourselves and how our lives would work with our future adoptive child.
The big thing that I have decided is that I don't want to do another egg collection any time soon. Money is one of the reason - we simply can not afford a $7000 upfront cost to do a full round of IVF. But it's not just that. It's about taking back control. The egg collection and FSH stimulation make me feel awful physically, and I'm not ready to jump back into that without being 100% prepared first.
I do plan on following up the possibility of embryo donation and would be happy to go ahead with a donated embryo transfer this year, as this is a lot less invasive than a full treatment cycle. Murray and I have also discussed the possibility of doing a donor IUI cycle... more about that in the next section
Health
I am having Ovarian Drilling done on Feb 14 next year - just the way I want to spend Valentine's Day! It's not something I wanted to try, for a very long time I have resisted having the surgery done, but I am going to go with it and see it as a positive option. While I may not give me my baby, it may help me regain some regularity with my cycles which help a lot. If it has an impact on my weight as well, that would be even more amazing. I am planning to start temping again once the surgery is done, fingers crossed it will help get my body on track.
If my PCOS is somehow diminished by treatment, our doctor has suggested we may like to try donor insemination before we head back to IVF. If we are lucky enough that my cycles start to regulate better after the surgery, then we will consider doing this. At the moment it is just another option on the horizon.
I have stacked on the weight in the last 8 months - 12 kilos in under a year is not good and I can feel the impact it has on my joints, my self-esteem and my lifestyle. I haven't exercised regularly for 6 months, and my eating is out of control. So slowly but steadily I am going to get back into treating my body right. That doesn't mean perfection though. I'm never going to be a size 10, nor will I exercise every day and eat all the right things. It's about having balance and getting myself to a place where I get my confidence back and start to feel good. I'll know that point when I get there. No particular plan except having accountability to myself (although #twitfit seems like a winner to me).
Work
My workplace can be quite unfriendly at times, especially when my co-workers feel threatened by somebody or something, and I think that I fit into that category. Unfortunately I have lowered myself to their level at times, and my work has suffered. I want that to change in the new year. I know it is okay that I get upset and frustrated by the comments and attitude from other people, but I need to be bigger than that and continue my work to the best of my ability. At the end of 2011, a complete restructure of our area will happen, and I want to position myself so that I could be considered for career progression into a supervisory role. I want to feel happy at work again, and that happiness has to come from me.
Marriage
You know what, this is the one area of my life that I can honestly say is going well. Murray and I are so connected, through everything we have been through, our bond gets stronger every day. The one thing that I want to work on is me being more patient. Hubby can be a bit daft at times and I have a sharp tongue, I need to work on not being so quick to quip, and let him sort things out for himself.
Finances
We have decided to go see a financial planner finally to help us work out where to start on the debt. You know how sometimes you let things get too bad that you don't know where to start? Yep - that's us. So time to bring in the big guns (Aimee - Will email you soon to take you up on your offer :-P) We would like to get rid of at least one credit card by the end of the year, and be able to afford comfortably our trip to Europe in October. Yes that may seem like a contradiction but I believe it is doable, we just need to work out how.
So that's the plan, at least for the moment. I feel quite at peace with the decision to hold off on IVF for the moment. I do have fears of course - my sister-in-law is due in June and I know that will be tough on me and Murray. I also worry that if something goes wrong in our lives - adoption, surgery, work etc, that we will fall back onto our old crutches - spending money, eating bad food and ultimately sinking into depression again.
Bring on 2011!
Children
We plan on continuing the adoption process and ideally having our application approved by October. I am under no illusions that this will be easy. We still have a hurdle to cross with Murray's medical assessment, but I know we can work through it get it sorted out. I am looking forward to the assessment process and getting to learn more about ourselves and how our lives would work with our future adoptive child.
The big thing that I have decided is that I don't want to do another egg collection any time soon. Money is one of the reason - we simply can not afford a $7000 upfront cost to do a full round of IVF. But it's not just that. It's about taking back control. The egg collection and FSH stimulation make me feel awful physically, and I'm not ready to jump back into that without being 100% prepared first.
I do plan on following up the possibility of embryo donation and would be happy to go ahead with a donated embryo transfer this year, as this is a lot less invasive than a full treatment cycle. Murray and I have also discussed the possibility of doing a donor IUI cycle... more about that in the next section
Health
I am having Ovarian Drilling done on Feb 14 next year - just the way I want to spend Valentine's Day! It's not something I wanted to try, for a very long time I have resisted having the surgery done, but I am going to go with it and see it as a positive option. While I may not give me my baby, it may help me regain some regularity with my cycles which help a lot. If it has an impact on my weight as well, that would be even more amazing. I am planning to start temping again once the surgery is done, fingers crossed it will help get my body on track.
If my PCOS is somehow diminished by treatment, our doctor has suggested we may like to try donor insemination before we head back to IVF. If we are lucky enough that my cycles start to regulate better after the surgery, then we will consider doing this. At the moment it is just another option on the horizon.
I have stacked on the weight in the last 8 months - 12 kilos in under a year is not good and I can feel the impact it has on my joints, my self-esteem and my lifestyle. I haven't exercised regularly for 6 months, and my eating is out of control. So slowly but steadily I am going to get back into treating my body right. That doesn't mean perfection though. I'm never going to be a size 10, nor will I exercise every day and eat all the right things. It's about having balance and getting myself to a place where I get my confidence back and start to feel good. I'll know that point when I get there. No particular plan except having accountability to myself (although #twitfit seems like a winner to me).
Work
My workplace can be quite unfriendly at times, especially when my co-workers feel threatened by somebody or something, and I think that I fit into that category. Unfortunately I have lowered myself to their level at times, and my work has suffered. I want that to change in the new year. I know it is okay that I get upset and frustrated by the comments and attitude from other people, but I need to be bigger than that and continue my work to the best of my ability. At the end of 2011, a complete restructure of our area will happen, and I want to position myself so that I could be considered for career progression into a supervisory role. I want to feel happy at work again, and that happiness has to come from me.
Marriage
You know what, this is the one area of my life that I can honestly say is going well. Murray and I are so connected, through everything we have been through, our bond gets stronger every day. The one thing that I want to work on is me being more patient. Hubby can be a bit daft at times and I have a sharp tongue, I need to work on not being so quick to quip, and let him sort things out for himself.
Finances
We have decided to go see a financial planner finally to help us work out where to start on the debt. You know how sometimes you let things get too bad that you don't know where to start? Yep - that's us. So time to bring in the big guns (Aimee - Will email you soon to take you up on your offer :-P) We would like to get rid of at least one credit card by the end of the year, and be able to afford comfortably our trip to Europe in October. Yes that may seem like a contradiction but I believe it is doable, we just need to work out how.
So that's the plan, at least for the moment. I feel quite at peace with the decision to hold off on IVF for the moment. I do have fears of course - my sister-in-law is due in June and I know that will be tough on me and Murray. I also worry that if something goes wrong in our lives - adoption, surgery, work etc, that we will fall back onto our old crutches - spending money, eating bad food and ultimately sinking into depression again.
Bring on 2011!
Sunday, 12 December 2010
Anonymous
Gee I hate anonymous comments. To whoever wrote the anonymous comment on my last post - thank you. I mean that, I'm not hating on you, because I choose to believe that you are writing that from a place of love and concern. You did... right?
Yes we have booked flights to Europe. Yes that costs money, something which is in short supply with us at the moment. But you know what? I don't care. Scratch that, we don't care.
Murray's Christmas bonus will cover our flights, and he gets another lump sum bonus in April which will go towards accommodation. And damn it - this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
No we won't be pursuing IVF, at least not for the next six months. I am having ovarian drilling down in February which thankfully is completely covered under my health insurance, and that will put me out of action for a little while. Murray and I also want to focus on our adoption application for a little while and get through the assessment process which will take the best part of six months next year.
To some, this holiday may seem stupid, even irresponsible. But for us, it is a lifeline. Something amazing to look forward to, something beyond our wildest dreams. Something to help compensate for our lack of offspring in our lives. If you don't get that, that's fine, you don't have to. And yes it will be tough - we will have to knuckle down. But it is going to be good. So good. And that is what I am looking forward to.
Yes we have booked flights to Europe. Yes that costs money, something which is in short supply with us at the moment. But you know what? I don't care. Scratch that, we don't care.
Murray's Christmas bonus will cover our flights, and he gets another lump sum bonus in April which will go towards accommodation. And damn it - this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
No we won't be pursuing IVF, at least not for the next six months. I am having ovarian drilling down in February which thankfully is completely covered under my health insurance, and that will put me out of action for a little while. Murray and I also want to focus on our adoption application for a little while and get through the assessment process which will take the best part of six months next year.
To some, this holiday may seem stupid, even irresponsible. But for us, it is a lifeline. Something amazing to look forward to, something beyond our wildest dreams. Something to help compensate for our lack of offspring in our lives. If you don't get that, that's fine, you don't have to. And yes it will be tough - we will have to knuckle down. But it is going to be good. So good. And that is what I am looking forward to.
Thursday, 9 December 2010
We are going to....
Europe!
Just a quick one from me, there was a big sale on flights today and we have taken the plunge and have booked flights to London through Kuala Lumpur for October school holidays next year! We can only take off two weeks from work so it will be a short adventure, but we are both climbing the walls - we are so excited!
No idea where we will go yet, can't do too much in 14 days but we will definitely make the most of it. Thinking London, Paris and Frankfurt, but who knows!
Yay for something nice to look forward to next year.
Just a quick one from me, there was a big sale on flights today and we have taken the plunge and have booked flights to London through Kuala Lumpur for October school holidays next year! We can only take off two weeks from work so it will be a short adventure, but we are both climbing the walls - we are so excited!
No idea where we will go yet, can't do too much in 14 days but we will definitely make the most of it. Thinking London, Paris and Frankfurt, but who knows!
Yay for something nice to look forward to next year.
Sunday, 5 December 2010
Winded
I feel like all the breath has come out of me. I can't breathe, I can't cope.
I was going through my facebook feed as you do, and saw a picture of a beautiful baby lying peacefully in bed. I clicked on it and immediately saw that it was my ex-best friends baby - four days old.
This is the best friend who one day stopped talking to me and I never knew why. No argument, no big fight, nothing - she just one day stopped returning my calls and that was it. Who also 'coincidentally' stopped talking to me right as I started trying for a baby.
I feel winded, the photo literally took my breath away. It hurts. A lot.
I was going through my facebook feed as you do, and saw a picture of a beautiful baby lying peacefully in bed. I clicked on it and immediately saw that it was my ex-best friends baby - four days old.
This is the best friend who one day stopped talking to me and I never knew why. No argument, no big fight, nothing - she just one day stopped returning my calls and that was it. Who also 'coincidentally' stopped talking to me right as I started trying for a baby.
I feel winded, the photo literally took my breath away. It hurts. A lot.
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