So this is The Plan. Capital Letters indicate this is a Very Important Plan.
The Plan is actually a three-pronged attack.
PART ONE
I am going to see my GP on Saturday morning to update my medical report to submit to the adoption panel so we can start the assessment process. Now that Murray's medical report issue is finally sorted out, mine is out of dte. But by next week we will have submitted everything and make the $750 registration/assessment fee, and start the process to determine whether we are fit to be adopted parents.
PART TWO
I have an appointment on June 28th to see my fertility specialist. I'm clearly not happy with the situation that we have ened up in. There has to be something we can do to get me to egg collection successfully. I believe that if we can get our embryos, we will fall pregnant from a frozen transfer. But three cancelled cycles has meant that I don't trust my body anymore. I am researching different protocols as much as I can to bring ideas to my doctor for him to consider.
I did call my old clinic to discuss the possibility of doing IVM there. They were very positive about it, and it would be my preferred option, but they have a strict BMI limit of 35 which I am nowhere near at the moment. Which leads me to the next part.
PART THREE
I know my weight is a factor in all of this, I don't have my head in the sand. I have previously done a LOT to address this, losing over 20 kilos in 07/08 to get my BMI to 35. But it was hard. And I mean HARD. I essentially have to control every meal and exercise five times a week to get any results. That might seem extreme but between the PCOS, insulin resistance and metabolism, it is hard to get my body to do what I want it to. And even when I did all of that, guess what. It didn't make an iota of difference to IVF success or restoring ovulation. Fertility treatment, being busy, attending uni at nights, and laziness has meant eating habits have slipped and the weight is back plus some.
But I am going to give it a shot. I am hoping to get involved in some team sport, and start jogging to get my fitness up, with the aim of losing seven kilos before our trip in October. Seven kilos is big enough to notice a difference, yet small enough to not be too intimidating. Four months also allows me time to do things properly and not crash-diet.
I have to know within myself that I have done everything within my power to get us our child. And losing weight is part of that.
So that is The Plan.
I don't know if it will work. I am still fragile. Raw. Wounded. But I have to hope. What do you have left if you have no hope?
Bec - I think that sounds like a great plan...I have often asked myself the same question! What do you have if you have no hope?
ReplyDeleteBig hugs to you!
good to hear that you've got a plan Bec!!
ReplyDeletewhile, obviously losing weight can only benefit your health and i don't necessarily agree with your statement of "I know my weight is a factor in all of this" - maybe it is but hey maybe it's not. i hate when infertility gets brought up and if the person affected by it is overweight, their weight is almost immediately blamed for their struggles.
you know that i wish you nothing but luck Bec.
as for what do you have if you don't have hope? someone asked me that the other day in regards to Guv and i starting a family and my answer - reality - that might sound harsh BUT i think there comes a point where holding onto hope, false hope, is more harmful than good. i applaud anyone who captures hope and manages to hold onto it but for me, it's more detrimental than helpful and i say this in regards to MY SITUATION only.
~x~
www.gabrielmethod.com.au
ReplyDeleteThis is NOT a diet, you do NOT have to slog your heart out in the gym 5 times a week, in fact there is no emphasis on hard physical exercise. It's all about adding the right things your body is crying out for and dealing with unresolved trauma which is the reason your body is holding onto the excess weight.
Please try it Bec, I was doing it last year and lost about 6kg in 2 months, I say "about" because I don't have scales but I could definitely feel the change in my clothes.
xo Mrs J
I am so happy to read that you have a plan -- proof that you have some hope! If you had given up, you wouldn't have had the gumption to put your plan into writing!
ReplyDeleteI know you can do this Bec! I believe in you!
hope is what gets us through, at least i think.
ReplyDeleteloves coming all the way from me and my red head in utah.