Stereotypes and the definition of family

First let me say, how cool is getting your groceries delivered to your door. Awesome. Makes life so much easier. So when a little survey box popped up asking me to rate the service of the site, no problemo - go ahead. So off I go ticking boxes, when I get to the 'statistical data' section. Male/Female - fine. Household income - fine. Then the next was Which of the following best describes your household situation? Nothing tricky there I thought, let's just tick married with no kids and be on our way.


Oops. Nope that's not an option. I can only be "Young Couple, no children". Okay so I can fit that. But what about if I hit 30 and we are still infertile? Do I suddenly not exist if I don't have children? There are no options for people without children, for anyone not defined as 'young'. Yeah oops.

The offending survey answers

 Is this how we society frames us - that if we don't have children, we are of no consequence, no value?

From Miall, 1986:

The United States and Canada are still strongly pronatalistic societies despite long term declines in their birth rates and average family size. Two traditional fertility norms continue to be widely accepted in North America: (1) all married couples should reproduce and (2) all married couples should want to reproduce (Veevers, 1980:3). It is within this context that Veevers (1972) conceptualizes childlessness- whether voluntary or involuntary-as a form of deviant behavior in marriage, a violation of prevailing norms of acceptable conduct. When cultural norms and values encourage reproduction and celebrate parenthood, childlessness becomes a potentially stigmatising status which can adversely affect the identities and interpersonal relationships of married persons.

 Twenty five years on and the stigma is still there. It might not be in the same overt way, but subtly throughout every day life, we experience it.