I've received a lot of support over the last week and firstly I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has called, messages and sent emails. I'm actually doing pretty well, all things considering. I think the overwhelming feeling is disappointment for the lost opportunity. To be so close and then lose it, it's hard to swallow some times. And now we are back to square one. No embryos, either ours or donated. Money in short supply. Our dreams are so far away once again.
Six years has taken its toll, but it has also I think prepared me to be s good mother. I have been so lucky to be involved in my friends and family's kids lives. I change nappies, help with baths and bedtime, and get to go to weekend footy matches and swimming lessons. We've been really blessed to have those opportunities. But no matter how involved we are, we are never that child's number one person, the person they seek out when they have a nightmare, or snuggle into between Mum and Dad on the couch.
We are booked to go to a fostering information session next Wednesday to learn about the Western Australian foster system, and a new program called 'Home for life' which is essentially a permanent care situation. I don't know about eligibility or what's involved so this is just a change to 'dip our feet' so to speak, and see if it something that we want to pursue. At least it is something to pursue, something to have hope for.
So we aren't giving up. Not yet. It's too much to contemplate.
Wow Bec, that is exactely what my partner and I are doing at the moment, after ('only') 4 years of fertility problems and poor prognoses on further fertility treatments (too little chance of even conceiving and sky high chance of even more miscarriages then all the ones we already had. My body says NO over and over unfortunately). I am still very down under the disappointment and the dawning fact that I will never have my own child. But... after so many years of yearning and wanting a baby, seeing everyone around you creating families and remaining empty handed and with increasing disappointments and losses, we came to the point where we just like A baby. Like you describe, A child to be a parent to, to give all our love to and who we don't have to hand back at the end of the play game, but who is with us at night and in the week ends, through thick and thin. We have done extensive reading about surrogacy, but came across many risks and downsides. Now we have an appointment as well with foster care here in France. We think we can offer a lot of love, care and patience to kids who have had a difficult background so far. I will keep reading your blog like I did the past 2,5 years, thanks, Nat France
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