Thank you all for your comments on my last post. I never really stop to think about everything that is happening, and it was admittedly a little hard reading people telling me that I need to take a break, but I do appreciate the honesty.
For the moment, I would still like to do another cycle before the end of the year, December if possible, as it will be the last chance to make use of our Medicare safety net before all the changes come in, and the $1100 limit restarts. If that cycle doesn't work, we will be having a very long break, most likely of a couple of years time, but I don't know if I could just stop now, when I know that I could have one more go of it.
I do realise that I need to get myself right though before I attempt another cycle. That is emotionally as well as the physical side of things. I really believe that changing jobs is going to help my mental state a lot and help me to not be so stressed out. We also have some really enjoyable things coming up to look forward to - a wedding in the south west next weekend, another wedding in November, a four day getaway to the Barossa Valley in South Australia at the end of this month, plus Christmas - my favourite time of the year. I don't know if I could cope with getting to Christmas and knowing that I am still barren. I feel like I need to give it one more chance. I know I could keep saying that forever - just one more cycle - but in my head and my heart, I feel like I need to.
Is three months enough of a break? I don't know, but that is what I am going to aim for at the moment, and I guess I will reassess before we start to see if I still feel comfortable.
Okay, rambling is over... just such a hard thing to decide. If I was talking to anyone else, I would say take a break, take the time, but I just can't do that for myself. What if that cycle is the cycle that I could fall pregnant with my child?
I think you need to do what is best for you. It would be awful to regret not doing one more cycle, but you do need to feel whole before you go into it. Take some time to really address your feelings and work things out. You will be ok.
ReplyDeleteBec I hear what you're saying, and of course if you were having this conversation with a friend it would be easy to tell them to take a break because you'd have their best interests in mind BUT when it's you, your heart overrules your brain and you don't think about your own best interests you just think of getting the prize at the end of the journey - a baby.
ReplyDeleteYou say what if the missed cycle is the cycle that you would have fallen pregnant...another way to look at it, what if the missed cycle is the cycle that you suffer another loss? Of course I wouldn't wish a loss on anyone but do you think emotionally that you could handle another one now?
By taking a break you give not only your body time to recover and heal but also your emotions and once you've had time to heal you will be able to hopefully handle anything that comes your way.
3 months in the grand scheme of things isn't a long time but it's a start. Focus on all the lovely things you've got happening in the run up to Christmas and put ttc TOTALLY out of your mind, don't even think about it....your body, your heart AND your soul will thank you for it Bec!
xxx
I think December is a long enough break if you feel it is, I think everyone wants to make sure that you don't loose you in the mix of everything, it's important to take care of you that's all. You will be okay, it does get better.
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