I'm doing okay. If I think about it too much, I get upset and cry, so for the most part I just don't think about it. Seeing babies and kids is really hard at the moment. Usually I am fine, but it just makes me think of everything we wont have. No first day of primary school, first tooth falling out, picking out schools and what sports they are going to play. Everything in our lives was built around our family that we wanted to have.
I went away this weekend with my two best friends which was nice to just get away from home and be somewhere different with them. It ended up being really nice. We didn't have to talk about it because they get it, they just get it without me having to explain anything.
We are booked in with an infertility counsellor in three weeks time. We have seen her in the past for IVF related stuff, but we figured that we should probably see someone to help us process all of the thoughts and emotions that we are dealing with right now.
I wish there was something I could say to make this better. It just sucks!! This was not the way your story was supposed to end. I send you hope and peace and love.
ReplyDeleteContinuing to send care. I can imagine it's really hard right now. I'm glad you're going to see a counselor to help process feelings and thoughts.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to read this Bec... Oh how you did absolutely everything you could for this dream. No stone left unturned. It is extremely hard.
ReplyDeleteWe stopped trying after only one failed IVF, due to my auto immune health issues. We left stones unturned, but it is hard nevertheless. Especially seeing the milestones and the wonderful moments of the children in other peoples lives, all so accessible in this day and age of social media. We're focusing on fostering.
Don't stop trying yourselves? I bet there will be a huge abyss in front of you now. You two are strong, keep going.