Murray and I are at ceasefire. Last night was the biggest fight we have had since we've been married, and we survived so I guess that is something to be positive about.
I spoke to DCP today and they were very much angling for me to take all three kids on as their fulltime carer. When she asked how old I was and I said 22, she basically told me that I probably didnt have an important job anyway so I could quit or work part time to look after the kids. When I told her I earn just under 60k a year, she shut up pretty quickly! They would contribute to some costs of childcare, but they would have to go into childcare everyday because I cant cut done on work right now. Even if I could do it, Murray has said that he wont agree to do it, and realistically I know I cant do this without his support. He is my husband and I have to take his opinions into consideration, even when he doesnt express them well and acts like an asshole!
The other thing the case worker said is that this might not be a short term thing. She said that it probably wont be sorted in a matter of weeks or even months, it might be a year before they get the kids back.
If we don't take the children on fulltime, or share custody with another family member, then we are only entitled to visit the kids at the foster home once a month which I think is incredibly hard. Apparently they have had budget cuts and family visits (extended family, not parents) only get once a month visits because a social worker has to supervise everything. It makes me so sad that I wont be able to see my nieces and nephews whenever I want to. God I hope they are okay.
Alicia's mother called me at work today to gripe about how unfair it all is and how Mitchell and Alicia look after the children just fine. I tried very hard not to be rude but she has her head stuck in the sand if she can't see all the things that they have done to those children.
I feel really drained from all of this so Im glad that the weekend isn't far away. Murray and I had a teary moment today where we both reaffirmed how much we want to have a baby together and we want to do our FET definitely next cycle.
Not having read the whole story this comment might seem out of place, but one thing I have learned over the past three months is that family is important, but not important enough to destroy the relationship that you intend to be in for the rest of your life.
ReplyDeleteYou will have to read my blog to find out exactly where I'm coming from, but in the meantime, my thoughts are with you on how difficult this must be for you both.
My husband and I went through something similar. It's tough and it sucks, but like you said, you got through it. That IS something! I'm sending you hugs and I'm thinking about you and the kids.
ReplyDeletei'm at a loss for what to say bec. i am in 100% agreement that you should take on the care of the children. i just wish i could convince murray the same! why is he so against it?
ReplyDeleteis there anyone else in your family that can take the kids?
you're in my thoughts and prayers my dear. hang in there, a solution will come for all of you.
I totally know what you mean, and it brought to mind a blog I recently found that I hope might help you: http://expectingwords.com/
ReplyDelete