The last week has been incredibly difficult, and I am glad to have Murray back home. He had an amazing time on his mission trip to Thailand, but I struggled really badly without him around.
My depression isn't under control. I am slowly working my way through with the help of friends, family and some community services that focus on depression. I need to find a good psychologist to help me learn to cope with pain in a more constructive way.
Today I was having a good day at work, yet all of a sudden it was like a switch has been hit and I became anxious, my brain started whirring with thoughts of self-doubt and I wanted to collapse and get out of there as fast as I could. I didn't, I just closed my eyes at my desk until the worst of it passed and then forced myself to keep going, but I hate that I feel like that all the time.
We are off on a trip to Bali, Indonesia on Friday night, which we have had booked for a year, but to be honest all I want to do is spend the week in bed. I'm hoping that once we are over there, I will be feeling okay and able to just relax and de-stress.
Bec i wish there was some magical cure that i could offer or that i could click my fingers and make it all go away but there isn't and i can't.
ReplyDeletei'm very glad that Murray is back home.
i know you might not be looking forward to the holiday but it might be just what you need - time out of everyday life to just escape.
be kind to yourself.
~x~
I hope and pray that this trip is something that will help. I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way!
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