We have made the big switch to a new fertility clinic! I have been really nervous about this as I have such a great rapport with my doctors at FSWA, but they don't offer donor sperm so we have had to move. It also coincide with the changes to Medicare where we get less money rebated on IVF cycles. Considering we were at the most expensive clinic at Perth and are moving to one of the cheapest, it has had some positive aspects.
I had more first appointment with my new fertility specialist Dr Graeme Thompson on Monday. I had heard pretty good things about him so was quietly confident and excited that we were going to start the process again. Unfortunately that's where the positive story ends. When I sat down with the doctor, we ran through all of the basics and when I said that I had PCOS, he straight away said that he would recommend that i have Ovarian Drilling done. Now this is something that was brought up at the very beginning of our conception journey, I understand the procedure but my previous specialist and I chose not to pursue it as there are no guarantees that it would make any difference to my PCOS, and I needed IVF anyway for the male factor infertility - the drilling wouldn't help me conceive naturally which is what most people use it for. When I explained this to the doctor, and said that my preference was to continue IVF treatment, he got very snappy with me and we entered into a glaring competition! I asked him if my reasons were clear enough, because I was concerned I hadn't articulated myself very well and he told me that "No, you are not making any sense at all", with an attitude you would not believe. When I said that I had been doing IVF for over three years and was confident in making this decision, he told me that "not to sound pompous but Ive been doing this for a lot longer than you have". When I stood my ground and said that I had considered Ovarian Drilling but would not do it, he basically stared me down and then started writing notes on his page. He didnt speak or look at me for a full minute! I felt like I had been sent to the principals office at school and done something terribly bad - I felt that upset and angry! In the end he basically said 'fine, do IVF', but in a very offhand manner which didn't leave me confident that he cared at all. He was trying to get me out of his room and finish the appointment, but I forced him to stop and answer some questions about what dosage I would be on (200iu puregon instead of gonal-f), whether we would use ICSI with a donor (Only IVF unless I dont produce many eggs in which case we will use ICSI to ensure fertilisation) and what his success rates were currently (40%).
I just don't have a good feeling about him, and although I known that if it is going to work, it will - what if there is something to the whole negative thinking and vibes affecting pregnancy outcomes? This doctor showed absolutely no concern for getting me pregnant - I felt less than a number, I feel like he actively dislikes me and I don't feel that he would be trying his best to get me pregnant. I know that might sound like I am overreacting but it is honestly how I feel. Unfortunately the only other doctor who has availability has a weight limit on his patients that I don't meet, and all the other doctors don't have appointments available until at least April! So I think I am going to have to go ahead with this doctor but I don't know how I am going to get around this?
OMG, these Drs are so arrogant. I walked out of a FS appt once in tears because he didn't care about anything I wanted to say, he just wanted to rush me straight into IVF without doing any investigations on me for recurrent miscarriage.
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, I can't see any harm in having OD done. Who knows Bec, it *may* help in some way, despite what you might have convinced yourself of. At least try to be open minded to it, but at the same time ask this FS to be open minded with you too.
I really do hope you can work things out and the change in clinic and protocol helps you and Murray to achieve your dream of being parents. God knows you two have been through enough xoxo
Uhhhg. Sorry about your experience, that didn't sound the least bit pleasant. You have a right to decide what happens to your body and which procedures you want or do not want to do. He might not agree, but tough shit for him. With that said, do you think he's worried about his success rates? Meaning he thinks if you have that procedure first then your chances might be better which in turn might increase your probability, thus his success rates ?! If that is the case, if all he cares about is his mumbers, then as crazy as this sounds, he will do his best to get you pregnant, regardless of the path you choose. It's just getting over that whole negative vibe thing, which can be challenging. But we always have the ability to change our mind about the situation, so even if you don't like him, you can decide that he doesn't have the power to change your feelings about the process. You can like what your doing without liking him. He's just the means to your destination....if he's your only option, then maybe viewing it that way might help. I know much easier said than done.
ReplyDeleteDelurking to say that this really bugs me.
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing this FS is of the older set?
Ovarian drilling is an antiquated procedure, only temporary in effect, which destroys small amounts of ovary (thus potentially affecting reserve in some patients), can cause adhesions (scar tissue in teh pelvis which itself can negatively affect fertility) and is better replaced with ovulation induction or IVF. Period.
G
Bec I'm so sorry that you had to deal with that, it was totally out of order for him to do what he did and you should know that you have avenues you can take to lodge a complaint against him.
ReplyDeleteI'd be telling him next time you see him that you don't appreciate being spoken to like a chid, that he may have been "doing this for years" but it's your body and you know what treatment you'd like for it. He was so out of line and he needs to be told that.
Big hugs
xxx
Totally echoing what Rach has said.
ReplyDeleteI' currently wavering on changing our FS as he was so flippant and rude last time I saw him...though living where I do, there is only two clinics here unless I drive to Brisbane for treatment and I'd rather not!
I hope that your next appointment with him goes much better.
Hugs.
For what it's worth - I also see the same dr & you're right - he can be arrogant & he is most definitely old school. Having said that - he has helped us to have a baby & we didn't hesitate to go to him now we are trying for number 2. He was recommended to us by several GP friends & in the end I figured I would go with that recommendation even if he isnt the kind of guy I'd want to sit down & have a cup of tea with. He should have been able to give you good reasons as to why he recommends OD if you are going to have to go through IVF for MFI anyway. I have at least found him to be very thorough - that is one good thing about the old school guys!
ReplyDeleteWhat a jerk! I don't understand why doctors don't listen to their patients! It's not like you were completely ignorant or uninformed!
ReplyDeleteWe left our conventional fertility clinic because our doctor was a complete nightmare. He has helped one friend conceive, but I will never set foot in that clinic ever again. I regret never standing up to him and just leaving the clinic, but then again, I don't know if he would've been open to our beliefs regarding IVF.
I'm sorry I don't have any answers for you and that I just vented some issues of my own!
I wish I could kick the guy in the shin for you!
It makes me feel better that other people have had the same experience with this doctor. I too have found myself in a staring competition with this guy. When I questioned my treatment, he told me I was being offensive and implying he couldn't do his job - which wasn't my intention at all. When I tried to continue the conversation, he told me he wasn't interested in talking about it and stormed off. It pissed me off because I think I have a right to know what is (or isn't) being done to my body. I've also heard that he's mean to the nurses he works with.
ReplyDelete