2ww update

So today marks 4dp5dt or 9dpo. I have zero symptoms which I have to decided to take as a good sign, after every other transfer I have had bad cramping. I'm feeling a bit better than I thought I would be at this point with all the stress around me. I guess the thought that we still do have one embryo left, even if we can't afford to use it!, is comforting. I am just blocking out the drama with my brother until I feel ready to deal with it. There is no point upsetting myself over something that I have no control over.

I have been keeping up my acupuncture which I hope will make the difference this time round. I had a session in the morning before my transfer, then on Saturday and today. I also have two more sessions booked for Thursday and Saturday. The place I go to is quite expensive, but I feel that they really know what they are doing, and hopefully.

One thing I do need to watch is over-doing it. Even though I am not exercising or going to the gym, I have been doing a lot of running around at work and a heap of housework at home. I am trying to calm myself down and take it easy, but life continues on I guess, whether you like it or not.

I have only 8 working days left until I am holidays which I am really looking forward to. My Christmas tree is up, all the presents are wrapped, labelled and under the tree, my Christmas cards have been sent, and Im making my final arrangements for present swapping brunches in the lead up to the big day.

Should this cycle not work, I think Christmas is going to be the hardest thing to deal with. I remember being upset last Christmas, telling my Mum how badly I wanted to have our child and share the day as a family, and my Mum said 'Don't worry, by next Christmas you will at least be pregnant', both of us thinking that IVF would be our silver bullet. Now that day rolls around once again, and I dream about the way I want to be able to do certain things, like preparing stockings with lollies and gifts, and reading the Nativity story before we open presents. I have all of these plans and ideas for every part of my childs life.