Christmas is turning out to be really hard. Tonight we went to Carols by Candlelight and there were gorgeous kids everywhere, running around being, well, kids I suppose. And we had afternoon tea with my best friend, her husband and their beautiful daughter. Yesterday we gave our christmas presents to my nieces and nephew and I just wanted to take them home with me and shower them with love. They are all so excited about Christmas being around the corner, and I want to be excited about that with my children.
It is so much hard work to keep myself together when I am around babies and children at the moment. Today I lost my temper at Murray for making a crude joke while at a friends house. Usually I would have laughed it off, but because I am putting all my energy into protecting my heart with children around, I don't have the capacity to also laugh at jokes and have a sense of humour, or to have conversation beyond a superficial level, or really just be a good friend and wife.
We decided that we wanted to remember our lost baby by doing something, and so we bought these two figurines from the Willow Tree range. They are the Angel of Healing (to the right) and Promise. It's just a little reminder for both of us of what we have had (the pregnancy), and we still have - each other.
what a beautiful memorial for your baby bec.
ReplyDeletei completely understand about having to hold it together around people with kids. although i love being around babies and little ones it pains me every time i think about not having my own.
i wish i could take away the hurt you feel, especially at christmastime.
hugs to you.
You sound like you are doing very well being around others' kids, all things considered. It's painful and you're going through a tremendous loss right now. Your figurines are beautiful. I hope that it helps to have done something to mark the reality of your pregnancy and loss.
ReplyDeleteHang in there.
Mo
You are doing a great job! Do your best to be kind to yourself and pamper yourself when you can. I love Willow Tree figurines. They are so beautiful. I love the ones you bought in memory of your little one. It's a beautiful keepsake.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
-D
I think that's a lovely way to remember your angel and also the reminder of you and Murray as a couple...leaning on each other for strength.
ReplyDeleteKeep strong.xx
Those are gorgeous memorial pieces. I have both in my home as well. Every time I look at them they just fill me with a sense of peace and love for my baby.
ReplyDeleteHang in - he's doing this too - his own way.
hi again bec. i've just nominated you for a blog award. come by and see what it's all about. :)
ReplyDeleteThe Willow Tree figurines are a beautiful idea Bec xoxo
ReplyDelete