There was no heartbeat. There is a sac and what looks like it could be the beginning of a fetal pole, but it's still small. And no heartbeat. Our doctor has said not to give up hope, and it could just be too earlier, considering how low my beta numbers have been, but I'm not so sure.
After my doctor did the scan, a nurse came in to take a photocopy of my records to take to the doctor, but she was so negative in her attitude, almost pitiful towards us but not compassionate if that makes sense. She was talking like it was already over? In the end she said that she would wait until tomorrow before she would decide whether to forward my file on to the OBs. We left the clinic upset that we hadn't heard a heartbeat and that we could lose this precious life inside of me, yet all I could think about was that this woman who was meant to support us had already decided that it was over and done with.
I have a blood test tomorrow morning which will tell us whether or not my hcg levels are rising still, and then my first obstetrician appointment on Monday. The OBs is also a fertility specialist at my clinic, so my dr is going to talk to him and we will do a scan first thing at the appointment to figure out whether the sac has grown or not.
I don't know how to feel. I don't know if I should remain hopeful that maybe it is still too early, and that my levels will keep rising, or if this is it.
Ugh. I am so sorry. I will keep you in my thoughts and hope for the best.
ReplyDeleteMo
Praying for you Bec - praying so hard!
ReplyDeletei'm sending you prayers bec!
ReplyDeleteOh Bec, I'm sorry. The waiting to find out for sure is just agonizing. I hope that it's just early. My thoughts are with you guys.
ReplyDeleteOh sweetie, I am so sorry! Sending you so many hugs. I'm praying for you!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear that, and I really hope you have a nice strong doubling beta.
ReplyDeleteDon't give up hope! The same thing happened to us at our first scan and they pretty much wrote it off, but a week later there was a heartbeat and all growth was on track - it was just a week behind dates.
ReplyDeleteIt is NOT over until it's over.
I agree, it's NOT over until it's over. Don't sit back waiting for the fat lady to sing, tell her, her slot to sing has been pushed back indefinitely!
ReplyDeleteI'm keeping everything crossed for you that your beta shows excellent HIGH results tomorrow and that your next scan, shows a heartbeat and growth!
As for the nurse, it truly amazes me how MANY nurses have that attitude and NO bedside manner at all, it's not only Dr's that need one of those, in fact nurses need one more than Dr's do because they deal with patients more.
We settle for bad treatment too often and as patients we have every right to complain and let them know that their attitude is unacceptable in their profession. If you were to have let someone know how she treated you was unprofessional, it could prevent someone else from having to be treated the same way by her after you.
Bec, if it happens again, speak up about it, at such a sensitive time she really should have known better!
xxx
Well I'm NOT giving up hope hon! And that nurse? clearly needs a few lessons in care and compassion. Please keep us posted. I'll be thinking of you xxx
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry your appointment didn't go as planned and that you are still in limbo Bec xo
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteHere from LFCA, thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that you are in this in-between place. I hope you get answers soon, and I hope they're good ones.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you have to wait in this limbo. I hope it all turns out OK.
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