Feeling very un-pregnant like. My fatigue has disappeared and I don't feel fuzzy. I'm not as bloated and have no nausea. The only symptom still hanging around are my sore boobs, which even they are not as bad as they were a week ago. I feel like it is over. I know I should be staying positive, that's what everyone is telling me anyway. But last night all I could think about was contingency plans - when we could fit another cycle in, how much money we can spend and if we should go on the adoption waiting list.
Emotionally I am blank. Just a big fat blank. I'm scared but I cant let myself be consumed by that because I don't want to get depressed again. I'm tired of sinking into that dark hole over and over again. So for now I am feeling nothing. Not thinking of the baby, whenever that is actually possible, not thinking of the scan or beta numbers. Just getting through each hour of each day until Monday.
Yet after saying all of that, I want this so badly... I just have to turn myself off, otherwise the emotion is too strong.
Just wait till Monday. Stay strong.
ReplyDeletesending you more prayers bec. you're in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteOh Bec. Monday will come. Hold on till then. Love you girl. xxxx
ReplyDeleteSending you strength and lots of love. Lots of deep breaths, too.
ReplyDelete*HUGS*
Bec - I am so friggin sorry this isn't going easier for you. This totally sucks! I am praying for you my dear friend - I can only imagine how agonizing this wait is for you.
ReplyDeleteBig Hugs!
A lurker here, hoping all good things come your way. You deserve it more than anything and we are all rooting for you.
ReplyDeleteTake care, be safe, God Bless and we are thinking of you xxx