I called the clinic this afternoon to ask them what I should do and ask what they thought might be going on. The nurse says that even though they saw the follicle at the time, its possible that this will be an anovulatory cycle. Fcuk! Went and had a bloodtest done after work in which they only tested for ovulation but no pregnancy test, I guess that's their way of saying 'no chance'. Feeling really lethargic, bloated and crappy. I have never been one to obsess over my symptoms or think 'am I or aren't I?' but I'm really obsessing this month.
While I was doing IVF, I was so focused on being positive and believing that it would work etc that I was able to deal with all the blood tests, injections and the whole process without really taking it in too much. Now looking back on the mood swings and what's involved in it all, I realise that it was actually a very difficult thing to do, and I'm not sure if I want to jump back into that straight away. That doesn't mean I don't want a baby now, and it doesn't mean I'm not going to do IVF, but it's not just an automatic 'Yes, we'll do it next month, and the next month and the next'. I may need to take breaks if we are unsuccessful. But of course we are going to be successful...right?!
I had a lovely call from my Mum on the way home from work asking me what the difference between a follicle and an egg was. I explained it to her and she then offered that should we need it, that we can have her eggs. She has had a hysterectomy but her ovaries are still in tact and working fine. I didn't have the heart to tell her about age and eggs etc, but I was still really touched by it. My Mum isn't the most touchy-feely person, so it was quite personal and meaningful for her to offer that up.
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