Day 7 - Confused & teary

My estrogen has dropped from 1400 yesterday to 1300 today. Not the most promising of starts. I don't want to have to cancel but this cycle certainly isn't textbook. At least when I hyperstimulate I know what is going on with my body and why - this I just don't understand.

Have to have another blood test tomorrow, which means I will be late for an important work meeting. Not much I can do about it, but just another interruption to my life.

Am a little upset at my younger brother at the moment. He is 20 and in the army, so he doesn't understand the desire to have kids, but he has always been really sensitive and good about it. I was doing the sisterly thing and giving him the 'don't do drugs, don't get into trouble speech' - it's a bit of a running joke between us, and he knows that I am playing around because we do it every conversation. This time though he said that he had gotten a girl pregnant. I told him haha very funny, stop playing around, and he went very quiet and said that he wasn't kidding, and that he had gotten someone pregnant, but then he "handled it and got rid of it". I was in shock and hung up the phone, absolutely flabbergasted. He tried to call me back straightaway, and eventually sent me a message saying "It was just a joke". I sent him one back saying "Very funny telling your sister who can't have kids that", and haven't heard from him since. I know he probably thought he was hilarious, and I hate being so uptight, but I couldn't help it. My throat closed, my shoulders tightened and I just wanted to disappear. Even retelling this story hurts me thinking about it. Trying to just let it go.