Thursday 17 June 2010
Trying not to hope
I know I am not pregnant. I know the chance of us conceiving naturally is next to nothing. But for the first time in a very long time, I am hoping for a miracle. I don't expect it, but I have to be honest and say there is a tiny tiny piece of me that is hoping we are pregnant this cycle. I am guessing that I am about 5dpo and I had the tiniest of tiniest bit of spotting this afternoon. It could be anything, absolutely anything and totally not related. But it doesn't stop me from hoping that this is our miracle. Logically my brain says not to allow myself to think this way. But the heart doesn't work like that, I can't get it to stop.
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It's that ol' b!tch HOPE! I HOPE that your little feeling is right, I HOPE this is the end fo this endless waiting and guessing and doubting etc etc etc. It really is astounding what the brain can do!
ReplyDeleteoh hon, fingers and toes crossed xxx
ReplyDeleteWho knows, there could be a miracle out there....
ReplyDeleteHope is one of the things that keeps our heart afloat at times of despair, sadness and complete loss....hope my friend is a good thing (despite it sometimes kicking us in the arse) and it should never be discouraged, sometimes it's the one thing that keeps us sane, keeps us determine to move forward to reach that dream.....
ReplyDeleteIf your hope should ever slip, I promise to have hope for you and I will hope with everything I have, that somehow, someway, this cycle, gives you your miracle....
xxxx
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I am having these thoughts at the moment as well. My temps are still nice and high at 14DPO and I have found myself thinking, wouldn't it be so nice not to have to do IVF?
ReplyDeleteFingers crossed for you!