Day 10 - Cancelled

My estrogen level has doubled to 10,500 so my doctor has cancelled my cycle. My lead follicles were around 13/14mm so nowhere near egg collection yet and it was just too dangerous to proceed.

Am so exhausted by the whole thing, I just want to get pregnant - surely the exhausting part is meant to be once you have had the baby!

Now we have to do this all over again… I don't know if I even want to put myself through it. The stress, the impact on my body, the money, the rescheduling my life, running late to work because my clinic is 40 minutes in the wrong direction. But of course I will because I want a child. I don't want another break. I want my hormone levels to be normal and to be doing my egg collection in a couple of days.

Am going to have some serious s-e-x over the next week, in the miniscule hope that the FSH might boost our chances naturally. I know that our odds are next to nothing, but I have nothing else I can do.

I'm not a mess. I'm not broken. I haven't even cried. I don't feel like I am in the slump that I usually am when this stuff happens to me. This time I'm fed up. I feel let down. I'm angry.