Starting the process

I finally picked up my Provera tablets from my FS today, so will fill the script and start taking them tomorrow. I am currently on day 20, which I know is early to start taking them, but we are going on holiday in early July, and I cant risk transfer/results being around those dates, so better to cut short this cycle and get going with it all.

Am starting to get a tad nervous about it all. I am excited that we are doing IVF and that we have a donor, but scared about the implication if it fails. After all, this IS the back up plan. What happens if this doesnt work as well?


On the adoption front, we have had some correspondence from DCP (the department handling adoptions) and apparently Murray's doctor wouldn't provide him a recommendation that he is 'fit to be a parent', suggesting that he needs a psychiatric review. We feel that he is being vindictive after the billing fiasco that occurred (after charging Murray more than double what I was charged for our medicals, and complaining about it). So we will be complaining to the medical board about that. But unfortunately it places us in a very difficult position with the adoption committee as they have already seen this report and are concerned and confused. If Murray really needed a psychiatric review for his depression, then A) I would as well as I have had it a lot longer and more severe than Murray has, and B) surely the doctor would have referred him for one sometime in the 6 months he has presented with depression and been treated for it by the same doctor. Why now all of a sudden he needs it. Plus C) there was absolutely no mention of this at the doctors appointment when the medical was done - we believe the medical report was possibly altered after our complaint. Or at least left blank and filled in afterwards. So very upset at the situation, but trying to now think of the best way to move forward. We don't want to dignify the report by having to get him to see a psych, but it may be our only option in the eyes of the adoption board.

My Dads trial starts next week which is very scary. I haven't talked about it much on here as it is a lot to take in, and for all his faults, he is still my Dad. I learnt a long time ago that you cant change people, you need to either take them for who they are or cut them off. The evidence presented at this trial and the outcome will have a big part in my decision making as to which side I fall on. If I believe at the end of the trial that he is guilty of the charges, then I will need to make some hard decisions about my future relationship with my father. Anyway, high stress times ahead over the next month, but I am feeling good, not depressed which is positive, and I am just going to take each day as it comes.