The trial is over. My Dad was found not guilty of the offence he was charged with. He no longer has accusations or a potential jail term hanging over his head. I am glad that it is over and he can move on with his life.
I don't think he committed the crime that he was accused of. However he was capable of the crime, and it didn't shock me that he was accused of it which is awful. He doesn't hold the same morals that I do, and I have very little respect for him or the life choices he has made.
I just don't know if I can have a relationship with him anymore. I want a relationship with my father. But the truth is that I don't want a relationship with him. I want one with him being a real father. And that's never going to happen. He isn't going to change who he is. I'm not going to change who I am. I either choose to accept who he is and try to have a relationship on his terms, guarding myself from every misstep and disappointment, or I choose to walk away.
I don't know if I can do either.
*edited - this post was three times as long but it was too much for me to bear, please excuse my self-editing*
I can't imagine what you are dealing with here Bec. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers xxxx
ReplyDeleteps edit away if you need too!
A big sigh of relief for you Bec, a guilty verdict would have made things even more difficult than they already are and you deserve better.
ReplyDeleteI think to have a relationship with him, you have to have boundaries within yourself. But that's just my personal experience. I am glad he was found not guilty. I sure hope that everything starts leveling out for you.
ReplyDelete*HUGS*