My period arrived this morning as expected. I couldn't face going into work today, but thankfully my boss let me work from home which meant I could stay in my PJ's, cuddle my dogs and answer emails from the couch.
I don't even know where to go from here. I thought I would be okay with this cycle not working, yet I am falling to pieces. I think it is just hitting me that I will never have a baby in my belly, I will never give birth, I will never experience all the things of motherhood that I have dreamed about since I was a child.
Yes we are still in the adoption pool, but adoption in WA is hard. There is a pool of 50-60 applicants and last year there were 2 placements. Two. So a 4% chance per year of placement. I am going to update our profile shortly with new photos, but the privacy rules here mean that we will never find out if our profile is even put forward to birth parents for consideration. There is a very good chance that we will never have the privilege of being parents.
That hurts my heart so much.
Bec I am so sorry. I am sending you a huge hug. Is overseas adoption an option, or can you not be on two lists at once? Thinking of you xx
ReplyDeleteI am truly sorry that you and Murray have found yourself in this place Bec. You both deserve the joy of parenthood so, so much.
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