Day 18 - IVF #15, FET #5, Donated Embryo

So today didn't start off in a good way. We woke up to a call from the clinic at 7.30am, the embryologists wanted to talk to us about our embryo. I got the impression from yesterday's phone call with the nurse that the embryo had continued to develop since it was thawed, but that was not the case.

It was thawed at midday on Friday and as a day 2 embryo it was 3 cells. Ideally it would have divided again and become a 6-8 cell embryo by today but it was still at three. The embryologist explained that it was still not a full 24 hour period, but that the fact that it hadn't continued dividing wasn't a great sign.

We were given the option of either continuing with the transfer as we planned and give it a chance in my womb, or waiting to see if it would develop further over the next few days and try to grow it to blastocyst (not likely to happen) and then defrost the blastocyst that we have in storage to use that instead (of course assuming that it defrosts okay).

We decided to go ahead with the transfer anyway and went along to the clinic. I got dressed in my fancy pants scrubs and while we were sitting outside of theatre, the embryologist came by and saw us to chat about everything. She basically repeated everything we had discussed on the phone, and then casually dropped the bomb- only 5-10% of these type of embryos (ones that haven't progressed but haven't officially arrested) work. I don't know if that is 5-10% of the normal success rate (30%) or 5-10% success rate overall. Either way it is low, really low. To be honest if I knew that was the stat when I got that phone call, I'm not sure I would have made the same decision.

Murray and I looked at each other and I felt tears pricking my eyes. I managed to hold it together and we headed into theatre together.

So there I am, spread eagled on the table with my gynecologist knee deep doing his business, when he asks me when my last pap-smear was. Thinking it was just one of his routine questions, I tell him that I was last year and he asks if he I had ever had a result come back other than all clear. So now my brain starts ticking- what the heck is wrong! My very first pap smear was abnormal when I was 18 and I had to have a colposcopy. Eventually I was diagnosed with HPV and CIN level something, and had to be closely monitored for a few years. So I'm explaining that while all the embryo stuff is going on, and he asks me if there is a family history of cancer! Now I'm extra freaked out - my Mum had gyno cancer very young at 37. After all of that he says to me, oh, well your cervix is a bit red and now it's bleeding, so don't worry, it's not your uterus and cervical bleeding won't affect implantation. The whole event left me rather confused and I'm not sure if I should be going for another pap smear or if you just wanted a detailed history so he knew what he was looking at!

So back to the transfer, we had our three cell embryo transferred and my pregnancy test is on Tuesday 29 May, so at least it is not too long to wait. I am spotting a fair bit but my Dr said that would be from the irritation in my cervix and not be a factor at all. I am managing my expectations - its not impossible that this cycle could work, but it is unlikely. I guess the only other thing in our favor, however improbable, is that we had sex after my trigger injection and I had four eggs prime for ovulation, so you could consider this a double whammy- timed intercourse and a guaranteed embryo transferred into me. Certainly better than what we have had in recent times.

We have my beautiful nephew Jack with us tonight which has been such a nice time. We had a play date with our neighbours and went out for lunch with Murray's sister and parents. We have watched the footy on tv together, and tomorrow plan on seeing my Mum for her birthday. I love spending time with him. It helps ease the pain a little.