Tomorrow is the day

Tomorrow is the day of our frozen embryo transfer, and hopefully the start of something wonderful. I have to go into this as positive as I can. I am going to be pregnant.

I've been spending a lot of time with my neighbours two little boys, and they are just so adorable! The older boy Xander knows who I am and says my name now which is super cute! He is 26 months old and the most gorgeous kid on the planet. I have already put my order in to get one just like him haha!

Megan (my neighbour) and I were chatting yesterday about kids, IVF and the whole drama, when she suddenly grabbed my hands and started looking at the lines that I have on them - I guess something like palm reading??? She said to me that I am going to have influence over and deeply love 13 children in my lifetime. Some of those children will be my own children, one could be our chemical preg last year, some might be my brothers children, and some possibly my future grandchildren or nieces and nephews. She said that even her children could be part of that number because I spend so much time with them and we live next door to each other. Quite possibly it is absolute nonsense, but it made me feel so good to finally realise that I can love children that aren't my own. I am allowed to love my neighbours children and feel good hugging them and playing with them. It's okay for me to love my nieces and nephews as much as I do. Even if the worst does happen and we are never blessed with children of our own, I will always have these children around me who I will love and care for no matter what.

Murray brought up the subject of adoption on the weekend. In the past I have always been the one to bring it up, along with all of our other options - surrogacy and donor embryos etc, but he broached the subject which was interesting. He said that seeing all of the adorable kids at church on Sunday made him realise that he didn't need for our children to be biologically ours to love them, and that if I was keen to, we should register for the adoption information seminars. We are going to wait to see the outcome of this transfer, and god willing it wont be necessary, but we are ready and willing to at least see where that path takes us.

Anyway, time for me to get off to bed, there's a big day ahead tomorrow! Please send us your prayers - we could really use them.