BFP

I can't believe that I actually got a positive pregnancy test. Actually not just one but six of them!

Murray came back from watching a football game on Saturday night, and after begging me not to test through the whole cycle, he changed his mind and wanted me to do a test. Apparently he just 'had a feeling'! So I did two tests, who knows why, and we sat in the lounge room to wait. I was so upset that I was crying, because I would rather have not known, that find out that this cycle hadn't worked. But we prayed together which helped to calm our nerves a bit.

We both went in and checked the result together, holding hands. At first we couldn't see anything and then I looked again and both had super faint lines! I mean super-duper, have to squint to see them kind of lines! But they were there! I just burst into tears, I honestly could not believe that I could be pregnant, it was the most surreal moment. Murray and I stood there for about 15 minutes hugging, and then I raced to the computer to google other faint HPT lines!!! Thank God for Google!

We decided that we would test first thing in the morning, but I only had internet cheapy tests, so we took a nice drive at 2am to the only 24 hour chemist in Perth half an hour away, to buy some First Response tests! That drive was so freaking funny, we would be driving along and then all of a sudden one of us would look at the other and burst out laughing! You could not wipe the smiles off our faces.

Sunday morning I tested using the First Response and another internet cheapie. The FR only had a faint line, but the other test came up darker this time, though still not as dark as the control line. I have taken many photos of the test and analysed them to death but everyone has said that they are definitely there - and not a figment of our imagination!

We were bursting with excitement by this point and had to tell someone!!! I wanted to blog straight away but my best friend and Mum read my blog so I needed to tell them first before I posted. First to know was my best friend Fiona. I still remember when she called me to tell me she had gotten a positive test when she was pregnant with her daughter- to this day it still feels me with warmth and excitement, so it was wonderful to be able to finally make the call to tell her our news.

We decided we also wanted to let our parents know as they are our main support people. We went to my Mum's house first and I was jumping out of my skin! But I managed to keep it together enough to wait until she had given us our belated easter eggs, and I gave her a present in return. I had put together a card with a positive pg test and a line that said "Arriving January 1 2010", as well as a book called "Not all Grandmothers knit - how to be a BAD Grandmother!" Once she read the card she looked at me and asked if that meant I was pregnant with a big smile on her face. Lots of hugging and tears followed. My brother was also there and had a huge cheshire cat grin once he heard the news.

We did a similar thing for Murray's parents, I gave them the present (minus the preg stick!) under the pretense that it was something for their Europe holiday next month. She told us we shouldn't have, and said she hoped this was her mothers day present instead. She started reading the card out aloud. It said "A special guest is arriving January 1 2010". It took a moment for her to click but once she did she let out a huge scream and came and hugged me for about 10 minutes straight! Murray's sister was also there which added to the excitement of it all. The room was buzzing with excitement, and so we stayed for lunch and gave all the goss we had.

My blood test is tomorrow (Tuesday) morning, so I am hanging out to find out what my HCG numbers are which will reassure me a bit. The lines seem to be getting darker but whether that actually means something who knows. I've just left a message with my clinic to call me back, thinking that I could get a blood test done today, but it's a public holiday so all of the clinical collection places are closed.

I don't feel like we have jumped the gun with this, although I'm sure some people will think we have. This may be the only time I am pregnant, and I want to enjoy it from beginning to end. No being sick with worry about whether my blood test results will be high enough, or if it's just another chemical pregnancy. Not getting excited isn't going to make it any less hard if this pregnancy doesn't end with a live baby in arms. So I am going to be happy and not allow those thoughts into my head. I am happy to tell the people I want to tell, and do the things I want to do.

I am so very happy right now. I am still in shock really. I just can't believe that I am actually pregnant! I'm trying to make sure that I am doing the right things - going for walks, eating breakfast and healthy snacks, and keeping up with the progynova and progesterone at the right times. I'm willing to do anything to keep this baby.