I feel like I am walking through a deep fog and don't know what to do or where to go. Today has been so hard to get through.
I went and had a massage to 'pamper' myself on the suggestion of a girlfriend, but ended up silently crying through the whole thing. Looked through Myer to pick up some christmas decorations at 90% off, but all that was left was 'Baby's first christmas' stockings. I thought that I would be safe in a clothing store, but the lady who served me was pregnant. Heavily pregnant at that.
I know it will get easier, but right now it just hurts.
I am trying to do my usual thing and re-organise my life. Organising gives me structure. By writing a list, if feel like I regain control of things. So I write lots of lists. A grocery list. A drycleaning list. A 'places in the world I want to travel to' list. Any list at all, as long as I don't have to think about what's going on right now.
Bec, I'm so sorry. I wish I knew what to do or say to make the fog clear away for you. Just know that I'm thinking about you. Take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry angel. I hear you on the lists. I am a chronic list writer and I find it comforting and distracting too. Planning holidays that I may not even ever take also works in the same way. Researching flights, a budget, an itinerary... something soothing in it. I am so disappointed for you :(
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