I keep thinking 'what if'. What if this works. Thinking about prams and due dates and after-school activities. I'm trying not to get carried away, but my brain always does this. Every time I give myself permission to hope, it ends in disaster.
My constant prayer has been that whatever God wills, let it be done. If that means no children, then I know he has a plan for me, that I can't do with a child. Maybe I am destined to adopt? Maybe he wants to be available for some other great adventure. I don't know, but I have to trust in his infinite wisdom.
It's so hard to know what His will is in all of this. Praying you will feel peace as you go through this cycle.
ReplyDeleteCouldn't agree more. I did not get my dream of a child but he gave me a husband with three children and I get to be a grandma even though I wasn't a mother to any children. God knows the plan for us and sometimes it is hard to just trust in that.
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