I'm in a bit of a bad way at the moment. Work got stressful, Murray went away on his trip, the side fence blew over so I had to keep the dogs locked up inside, my sciatica played up, and now 4 migraines in 3 days. 'The Crazies' returned to haunt me.
Am doing okay now, although the last couple of days have been really low. I am staying with my Mum until Murray gets back from his trip, so I don't have to be alone, and the dogs are able to roam around freely.
I haven't told Murray any of this. He can't do anything to fix me over the phone, and I don't want to upset him, especially when I know he is having such an amazing experience in Thailand. I'm not going to ruin that for him. So I continue to pretend that everything is okay and divert attention to what he is doing over there.
I hate suffering from depression. I hate the way I think, how susceptible to pain I am, how ugly my thoughts are. I am incredibly grateful for friends who have my back and can play the 'mean friend' telling me to get myself right and listen to me cry my eyes out, and having a Mum who will come over and sleep on my couch and then come back the next night to drive me to her house when I'm sobbing on the couch.
I'm not sure where to from here. But I'm hoping it's up.
I hope it's up too Bec xo
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that you're going through this.
ReplyDeleteI don't want to overstep, but have you had your thyroid checked? I know that mine has had a big influence on my moods (and I'm convinced that it had to do with my serious bout with depression).
So glad that your mom can be a comfort to you. Take care of you Bec!
Love you honey.
ReplyDeletexxoo
Any better yet? Just found a link to your blog on the 12wbt forums. Yay :-)
ReplyDeleteHope things start to look up for you soon Bec, I don't always get a chance to read your blog but you and Murray are always in my thoughts.
ReplyDelete