This week has had a lot of ups and downs, sometimes even at the same time as each other. One of my closest friends called me to announce her pregnancy. They have had their own battles trying to conceive their second child, and I love them dearly and am so grateful that they will have their long awaited for sibling. But another part of me is broken. Not that they are pregnant although that is bittersweet in its own way, but that our friendship has slid as much as it has.
When my girlfriend fell pregnant with their first child, the same month that we started trying, I was the second person to know after her husband. I distinctly remember screaming and laughing down the phone, so happy that she was having a baby and I wouldn't be far behind, and we would do all those 'Mummy' things together. Time has passed and her life has moved on from mine. During the pregnancy and first year we remained close, but after a while we had less in common. I'm not exactly the best of company during fertility treatment, and after they started trying for a second child unsuccessfully, I felt like I was reminder to her of the things that can go wrong. None of this is her fault, and I don't believe it's mine either. It's just the way it is and it's hard.
Now we are in different places again. I hope our friendship is able to pull through it all.
My bf has had two kids since we got married. We were supposed to spend her second maternity leave together, it was all part of our plan. She has three kids and done growing her family and we have no kids, although we're godparents for her youngest. I love her kids so much, but I would give anything to have what she has.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you!
know this feeling. i have no immediate friends that don't have children, hence i don't really have any friends i see on a regular basis because they are all doing "Mum" things like catching up with their other friends who have children, so they can all play together.
ReplyDeletemy friendships have been directly affected by my infertility - it's a big frickin wide chasm that has developed between them and i and it sucks because nothing i do will change it.
unless of course i had kids...
i shall keep everything crossed Bec, that your friendship manages to stay on track and even becomes closer.
~x~