What's the point?

After a few comments on the blog, I sat down and tried to work through some things in my head. I was getting quite down about it all, and those negative feelings were influencing how I was thinking about the whole donor situation. So let's break it down.

Someone has come on my blog, and said that people know who I am, where I work, and who P is. What I would like to say in return is - what is your point? Is that meant to be a negative comment? Is having a donor meant to be something to be ashamed of? Or is it meant to be an attempt at intimidating me that people at work will know about our situation?

I'm not sure I see any positive out of that comment, but let's try and take it that way for a minute. Good point - people do know who I am. I have never hidden who I am on this blog, I don't use an alias, I make my email and facebook details available for people to communicate with me, I share intimate details of my life and conception journey. But I know all of this and am comfortable with it.

I was even featured in the major daily WA paper on our IVF treatment when we were lobbying against cuts in government funding for fertility treatment. Half page photo, with my name and intimate details spread for the world (or at least the city) to read. Instead of snide comments or negativity, I instead received emails of support from over a dozen people at my workplace, supporting me and telling of similar stories that they or their friends had been through. So I do have experience with my workplace knowing my story.

The only other thing I can assume you are inferring is that P will be identified through my blog. Firstly P & his wife both have the link to my blog. Secondly P's wife also has an online presence through a local message board, so is aware of how 'heart on the sleeve' the internet world can be. And thirdly, if you hadn't read the initial message, while we don't plan on shouting it from the rooftops so every employee knows our situation, we don't have an issue with people at work knowing.

I don't know who you are. I have some idea but whether it is the person I am thinking about or not, ask yourself - why are you here? Are you here to be supportive? To check on my progress? Do you wish me the best? Or are you here because this is how you get your thrills, seeing us have to make emotional decisions, watching us as we experience the pain of childlessness. If you aren't here to wish me well, I would say to you - Look at yourself and the person you are and if this is the person you want to be. I can't stop you from being here and reading my words.. But you can.

If there is another point to your comment that you would like to make - go ahead, please. I am taking this as a blessing in disguise, as it has given me the opportunity to work through some things in my head and made me stronger in my resolve to continue blogging, openly and honestly.



Through the last two days, I kept thinking - What's the point? What is the point of the anonymous comments, the baring of my soul on this blog, the pain, the fragile times, the emotions, the lot.

So what's the point?

The point is that we know our child is out there. Whether through adoption, IVF or naturally, we know that God has a plan for us to be parents. So whatever is thrown at us, it is worth it. It will all be worth it.