Gee I hate anonymous comments. To whoever wrote the anonymous comment on my last post - thank you. I mean that, I'm not hating on you, because I choose to believe that you are writing that from a place of love and concern. You did... right?
Yes we have booked flights to Europe. Yes that costs money, something which is in short supply with us at the moment. But you know what? I don't care. Scratch that, we don't care.
Murray's Christmas bonus will cover our flights, and he gets another lump sum bonus in April which will go towards accommodation. And damn it - this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
No we won't be pursuing IVF, at least not for the next six months. I am having ovarian drilling down in February which thankfully is completely covered under my health insurance, and that will put me out of action for a little while. Murray and I also want to focus on our adoption application for a little while and get through the assessment process which will take the best part of six months next year.
To some, this holiday may seem stupid, even irresponsible. But for us, it is a lifeline. Something amazing to look forward to, something beyond our wildest dreams. Something to help compensate for our lack of offspring in our lives. If you don't get that, that's fine, you don't have to. And yes it will be tough - we will have to knuckle down. But it is going to be good. So good. And that is what I am looking forward to.
Meh money schmoney!
ReplyDeleteSome days you have it in abundance, others you can't even find a cent!
I'm still paying off my holiday to the UK from October and chances are I will be until well into the New Year and then as soon as I've paid it off, we'll be in debt again for our holiday in March.
Some days you just have to do it and say sod it. You have to live. My mum made a comment to me tonight that "younger generations" don't bother to save, they spend everything they have now, not bothering to save up or save for the future and as I said to her "you never know what tomorrow will bring or if it will even arrive - so you have to live for the now".
We save a small amount every week and that's building up nicely in our savings account but the rest - we spend, we buy, we travel [a bit - I'd travel ALOT more if it was up to me]. Do I complain about being broke at times? You betcha but I don't blame anyone for it, it's our own doing.
Did I mention how jealous I am of your trip Bec? And yes, I'm jealous despite only arriving back from England a month ago! I'd go every year if Guv would "let me" but alas he won't *throws a tanty*
You're going to love Europe!
~x~
p.s. I have no problem with people making comments like anonymous did but at least if you're willing to say it - put your name to it.
I agree
ReplyDeleteWe live well sometimes, and not so well other times.. isnt that the ride of our lives?? At least thats how it feels sometimes.
Im sorry that people cant be happy for you. After everything you have been through (I know as I have lived it too) you totally deserve this break.
Just a quick comment.. we did this last year (had a break from IVF and went on a trip around the world) we came home and 2 months later were pregnant! We started IVF again when we got home and were blessed right away!! I think the trip was what we needed to get through.
Enjoy every second of it.. al the planning everything! Relax and enjoy.. its going to be very different to travel with a baby!
Aimee Dunjey
ps.. Just to let you know.. Eli was born on 25th November.. tiny premmie boy, but he is doing just fine!
Oh Bec, I must have my fiesty sisterhood boxing gloves on today, I couldn't resist leaving a comment for the gutless anon!
ReplyDeleteIf this is what you and Murray have to do to, then do it. I did a similar thing but only on a permanent basis, rather than a holiday. Well, we had the holiday and it turned into an overseas move hehehehe :D
And can I just say, to the gutless anon of the previous blog entry (not Aimee above), you never know when people's circumstances change so how can you possibly make a well informed opinion of what they choose to do?
Bec I hope you have a wonderful, the more time goes by the more I realise how important it is to live it as fully as possible. Enjoy xx
ReplyDeleteUrgh, I hate people!
ReplyDeleteYou are going to have an awesome time honey.
You don't have to explain yourself to anyone ever.
Now, seriously,
Can I hide in your suitcase?
*jealous*
xoxo
I had anonymous comments disallowed from my blog! I hate cowards!!! I think you deserve this holiday!!! And you need it to stay sane!
ReplyDeleteBec, I am just wondering if your financial management will be assessed as part of your Adoption application?
ReplyDeleteBec, it's so disappointing that you bear your sole about such a personal issue such as infertility and people find it acceptable to make inappropriate comments. I have learnt with my own journey that I now don't give a toss on what other people think and at the end of the day you do what ever makes you happy. We too do alot of travelling & I would do it every month if I could and it's how we survive. Travelling makes you realise that there is such a bigger world out there & the people that you meet don't care if you have kids and it is so refreshing.
ReplyDeleteHave fun planning you holiday, it will be here before you know it.
Anonymous 2 (I assume you are a different person?)
ReplyDeleteYes we will be assessed on our ability to provide for our child. That wont be an issue for us - we both work in good jobs and I will have the ability to work part time. Yes we have debt but our TA => TL therefore if worst came to worst, we would sell our house to pay off the debts.
I have always maintained that if it came down to a choice between having a child and owning a property, there is no contest - the child wins each time. Ideally we could do both but I am okay if we decide to pursue that path.
So in other words - yes the holiday costs money, but no it wont be the end of the earth. All it does is delay IVF that little bit further, yet by doing so, gives us a chance to be happy about something else in our lives.
Is that so bad - really?
You NEVER have to justify what you and your husband decide to do.
ReplyDeletethis year we have had treatments since jan and tomorrow we fly out to italy. we need a break away from everything and time to be ourselves.
ENJOY EVERY MOMENT!!
I think the anon. is just saying: be careful Bec, what you have spend is gone, and with important things as possible adoption and further ivf on the way, it is extra important to weight every financial decission twice (if not more). You dont want to come in the situation that one of those becomes out of reach just by spending too much on holidays. But that is theoretical, nobody knows how your financial situation is excately. But as you wrote in October that you were broke, it might seem to the general reader a tiny bit of an impulsive thing to do to book an oversees flight (I am from Europe, France and believe me, the UK and London and Paris are about as expensive as you can get here, everything, from public transport to supermarkets to restaurants). I am battling 3 years of fertility problems myself, currently finally pregnant after 15 months trying after my last ectopic and it is an impending miscarriage at the moment, so it just feels so good to book a holiday to get your mind off and to live forward to, instead of living fertility focussed days and weeks and months and years instead. But for us, we chose to have nice breaks that are very cheap, either in France or with extremely cheap Ryanair flights, because if I was in more financial problems after returning home, I would have gone straight back to worries and misery.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree that it is amazing to look forward to such a great trip, but be careful not too get in too much debt over it, as it might cloud your real aspirations and wishes, in a worse case scenario.
Hope you take this as pure positive reply, I read your blog and live through it with you,
best of wishes, Hannah Blum
O and Bec, if you are run out of money and are in France, you can always stay for free in our nice old B&B in the south. Serious. Another thing that might be interesting for you: you can swap houses sometimes with people and have very cheap holidays all over the world in that way (although you need to trust someone else in your house of course). I know several people who do this without problems, they only need a flight ticket, as often even the cars are swept and you have hardly any extra costs.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes Hannah
Hannah - I really do appreciate the concern, and I definitely take it as a positive reply. I am apprehensive about our financial situation but at the same time I really feel the urge to put the focus on something other than my fertility or lack thereof.
ReplyDeleteI don't want my happiness and wellbeing being completely hinged on having a child.
I don't know, maybe it is a mistake. But it's done now and I am going to enjoy it. That's life I guess.
Great minds think alike Hannah! We have just discovered the website http://www.crashpadder.com which we are probably going to use for most of our accommodation :-).
ReplyDeleteMay need to pick your brains about the best place to stay in France!
Any time Bec, just let me know, France is really amazing, you will love it. Better then Germany, LOL!! And if you by any chance come to the south (near Narbonne), please feel free to crash in with us.
ReplyDeleteWe have had people here from Madrid who go on holidays 3 times a year through http://www.homeexchange.com/
and they have been in South Africa, New York, San Francisco, St. Petersburg and Japan already, for very little money. And they said it was much better to have a local house/appartment then a hotel in their opinion.
We will do this ourselves in the future, but I am the other way around then you, haha, as I like to plan AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE ahead, in case I MIGHT be pregnant again. Only book the odd short term flight to Holland every other month (I am Dutch, hello to another half Dutchie!). But that has left us without proper holidays for 3 years, I feel it has turned against us somewhat : )
Best wishes Hannah