Still sick

Grrr... apparently I have a chest infection. I can't believe that I am sick, I have been looking forward to these holidays for soooooo long. But instead of being out and about shopping in the sales, I am lying on my couch, watching every season of Sex and the City back to back.

I just finished watching the episode where Charlotte miscarries her much wanted baby. It was such a heartbreaking episode and I must admit I shed a few tears through it. Having not been through that experience, I don't know how I would react, but hopefully I would be able to cope with as much style as what she did. The one thing that I couldn't get out of my head though was Carrie & Harry saying "Well at least we know we can get pregnant". Cold comfort if you ask me.

As we prepare to once again begin the merry-go-round that is fertility treatment, I wonder if I would have the strength with losing the thing that I want most in the world - my baby.

Well...

My sore throat has progressed to being a fever, coughing up gunk, tiredness and an even sorer - sore throat. Just my luck. Am off to see the doctor in an hour.

Why is it that the moment you go on holidays, you get sick! Grrrrrrrr!!!

Merry Christmas

Well Christmas is over for another year. It was a really nice day, Murray and I woke up early and gave each other our presents which was really nice. I got a foot spa, a Mary J Blige CD, a cute nighty and some gym shorts, and I gave Murray a Stevie Wonder CD, hairdresser voucher, Roberto Cavalli cologne, and a sports book. I also gave him a Cleveland Cavaliers Lebron James NBA singlet which he already knew he was getting, and when we go to Melbourne in a couple of weeks, I am allowed to pick out a big present :-)

This year we held Christmas lunch at our place for my family. My Mum and her boyfriend Kevin, my youngest brother Daniel, and also the middle brother Mitchell & his girlfriend Alicia and their kids came. It was a really casual day, we cooked steak and sausages on the barbecue and had a greek salad and my Mum's famous potato bake for lunch. I think I've put on 5 kilos in the past week alone!

Unforntuately I woke up christmas morning with a sore throat and it has progressively gotten worse to the point where now I have a headache and am just lying on the couch watching the fourth season of Sex and the City... oh well, you can't have it all I guess.

Overall it was a good christmas. The one thing I am wishing for is that next christmas we have a little bubba with us to help celebrate.

How could you forget!!!

Just logged onto my computer at work and was checking out the latest news headlines when I came across this story.

A TWO-year-old girl died when her parents accidentally left her in a car in Perth as the temperatures reached 36C yesterday.
The toddler's parents returned with the girl in their car to their home in suburban Maddington yesterday afternoon before leaving in another vehicle without her, police said.They drove to Fremantle to pick up their two other daughters and realised the little girl was missing only when they returned about two hours later.
She was found in the car but could not be resuscitated, police said.


I am in tears. How could you forget your own child like that?! I can understand a child running away and not knowing where they are, or losing track of them in a store. But to purely forget your child... It is just heartbreaking :-(

Lovemaking

Yes I know, it's a personal topic but I feel like shouting from the rooftops - Murray and I made love today and it was wonderful. 18 months of trying to have a baby has meant that sex other than for procreation purposes doesn't exist, and our sex life has dwindled to a couple of times a month, and only ever when I'm ovulating. Between work, ttc pressures, and just plain old being tired, we haven't been able to give each other the attention that married couples deserve. I guess being on holidays is doing the trick because we are back in the game! :-)

Merry Christmas everyone!

A bit sick

Have a shocking headache that is headed into migraine territory... must head to bed shortly but am snowed under at work at the moment so have been up late trying to do catch up. Only four more working days until I am on holidays! I can't wait!

Feeling good :)

Well my appointment with Dr Junk went really well today. I was so nervous in the waiting room but he put us at ease straight away. He is very passionate about IVM which instilled a lot of confidence in us, he answered all my questions that i had written down before I got a chance to ask them!


Something interesting that he said was that because they have to pierce the ovary walls a lot for the EPU, it has an effect very similar to that of ovarian drilling, which leads a lot of women to fall naturally or at least help with the PCOS symptoms.


He is very positive that this will work for us, I mentioned that I had done a lot of research online and read a couple of his journal articles, and he offered to give me some more information to read. I thought it was just some more papers or something, but he came back with this huge file which turned out to be his conference notes from a conference on IVM that he went to in Germany! I've quickly flicked through the file and it looks really interesting (at least the bits that I understand!)

Oh and did I mention that he is very hot! Let's post a pic of the man in question, for *ahem* informational purposes of course!

Off to the clinic

We have an appointment with the embryologist at our clinic today and I am freaking out. Dr Junk completed his PhD on in vitro maturation, so I am hoping to get some insight into his thoughts of the process and hopefully throw a heap of questions at him! I have done as much research as I can, even reading all those ridiculously wordy scientific journals and have found out a bit, but I'd prefer to hear it from the horses mouth. After all, he will be the one looking after my little embies!

So here is my question list, from the obvious to the obscure:

• What is the process of IVM?
• Timeline of IVM – what day is retrieval done etc
• I know there are less drugs used but specifically what and how much drugs are involved?
• Success rates for IVM v IVF, both worldwide and for this clinic
• Does age make a difference in IVM?
• Is there a usual fertilisation rate? Ie if we retrieve 20 eggs, how many survive to be fertilised, and how many survive to blastocyst stage?
• What is the decision making process with trying for blastocyst? ie if we only have a few embryos, can you decide not to go ahead with going to blast?
• Cost factor – how much? Is it cheaper than IVF, and what medicare benefits are available?
• Can we keep trying every month (as opposed to IVF where you need to take a break in between cycles)? Is there a cut-off point where you can tell that IVM wont work for a certain person?
• How does a frozen transfer work with IVM (Is it different to the FET with IVF?)

We have been trying to conceive for 18 months now, and I'm ready to get pro-active again, stop feeling sorry for myself and throw myself back into it all. I really want this baby! Wish me luck!

The saga continues

I got a call at work today from Alicia, Mitchell beat up on her again and then left the house. I've had enough of all of this. I had the worst day at work because I got emotional and my boss went off at me because I hadn't finished a piece of work on time. I'm so sick of all this crap. Why do I even bother? I'm taking Alicia to court tomorrow to get a Violence Restraining Order against my brother. I wish I didn't have to do it but she has noone else to help her out so I guess I'm it for the time being.

I've had a week of binge eating and I feel shocking for it but I can't seem to stop myself. I'm scared of putting back on all the weight I've lost this year. I've lost 15kg since May but I've already put three kilos back on over the past three weeks.